McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
People don't black out for a millisecond; that's too short a time for a human brain to register.
HellsBells:
course you can. not actually being knocked out, but if you have a concussive hit, you can black out for a second or so.
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
--- Quote from: HellsBells on September 17, 2009, 03:32:14 PM ---course you can. not actually being knocked out, but if you have a concussive hit, you can black out for a second or so.
--- End quote ---
A second or so, yes.
The difference betwen "a second or so" and a millisecond is the same scale as the difference between twenty minutes and "a second or so".
HellsBells:
Bleh, i'll change it to a second then. how bout the rest o' it? hooked? :)
Aludra:
I read the paragraph and mentally summarized it as "I was being chased by a wolf and tripped, hitting my head on a rock." Which made me wonder why I had to read a whole paragrapth to get just that much data.
It may be just me personally, but I think the majority of even published authors have a ton of trouble with pacing on suspense parts. If the suspense part is too wordy, like this one, I'm just going to skim it and probably miss part of the plot which will keep me from being 'into' the book. But I think you may just be trying to use a very difficult peice of writing for your hook when you could use something easier as your hook.
But yeah, I'm not hooked. But I DO think you're pretty :)
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