On the other hand, you can’t lay everything at the critiquer’s feet. If every time someone tells you something about your writing didn’t work for them, or didn’t flow well or might work better another way, you “debate” them or insist they’re just not seeing the masterful glory of your plan, then there’s really no reason for you to post your stuff. You’re not learning anything, you’re not growing and you clearly don’t care whether anyone besides you thinks you can write.
The whole point is to try to improve your craft by seeing your work through other’s eyes. If you’re just looking for a place where people will praise your blinding talent and then storm the streets of New York publishing demanding they offer you a contract...uh, asking other writers for their opinion probably isn’t the thing for you.
There WILL BE people who don’t like your writing, no matter how much you “debate” or “explain”. That doesn’t make them stupid, or no-talent, right, or wrong. There will also be people who love your writing, and of course that means they’re uniquely gifted at spotting genuine genius.
If you are overly sensitive or defensive when it comes to your writing there’s a good chance you’re not ready for critiques or public readings. If you’re seeking publication, you HAVE to develop a tough skin. Editors, agents, and reviewers can be brutally blunt. You have to learn how to take criticism, and how to decide what to do with the criticisms.
For the most part, a critique is someone’s opinion. And they are entitled to it. Trying to “debate” them into changing their opinion is what causes things to deteriorate into flame wars and hurt feelings. If you can it’s best to just thank them for their time and decide on your own whether you’ll take or ignore their advice. Debating them won’t make you a better writer.
There should be a limit in the number of back and forth posts. 1) the initial critique. 2) the response by the author 3) the critiquer’s response. And that’s it! If they didn’t “get it”, they’re not going to, either way. Move on.
As an end thought...if there is something about your work that needs “explained” it’s not exactly reasonable to believe once you’re published you’ll be able to go to every person’s house who’s reading your stuff and “explain” it. So if you need to explain, maybe there’s a problem you’re not seeing.
Just a thought.
Also, we won’t be posting in a vacuum. Mean spirited critiques will be seen and dealt with I’m sure.