Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do

[GamerGirlsRock]

I will not keep trying to get Murphy to arrest Michael for public indecency because of his "Carpenter's crack".

Somehow I doubt his pants fit that badly. He doesn't seem the type to develop paunch--too much swordwork--nor do I think Charity would let him buy clothes that don't fit (too likely to cause problems in a fight).

[Shecky]

Somehow I doubt his pants fit that badly. He doesn't seem the type to develop paunch--too much swordwork--nor do I think Charity would let him buy clothes that don't fit (too likely to cause problems in a fight).

It was a joke. Put yer hands up; they're goin' right over your head.

[Priscellie]

So is a joke about Michael a Carpenter's crack?  Or is that what Molly was arrested with before the events of Proven Guilty?

[Shecky]

Yes.

[Levi]

I will not shout "Parlay" when surrounded by the bad guys.

While escaping after being captured, I will not say, "You'll always remember this as the day you almost caught..."
- It was funny the first 20 times or so.
- They catch me again while I'm saying it.

I will not teach Molly that the first rule of Wizarding is, "Close your eyes and pretend it's all just a bad dream. That's how I get by."

"Hello, beastie..." is not an appropriate greeting for members of the supernatural community. They take offense at it.
- So also, "Do you fear death?"

"Sea turtles, mate" is not an adequate explanation for anything that happens because of me.

[pookakitten]

(click to show/hide)

I will not visit the Shedd Aquarium.
-At least not without fish.  Need to bribe those dolphins to be quiet.

[GamerGirlsRock]

I will not name my zipper collection "The Dresden Flies".
--nor my bugs.
--nor the Za Guard.
--nor the brownie cleaning crew.
--Dammit, there's just no appreciation for a good pun anymore.

[MAW]

I will not call myself "The Lord of the Morning"
I will not refer to the black council as "Darkfriends"
I will not reprimand Murphy for sniffing at my humor.
I will not refer to the Denarians as the forsaken.

I will not refer to the knights as "Athos, Porthos, and Arimis".

And I will never, ever let my apprentice refer to me as "Master".  There just aren't enough cold showers in the world.

[Dragonblood309]

I must stop getting angry at Jim for putting me in such dangerous situations.

[Thrasher]

I will not try to encourage a wizard menage a trois with Anastasia and Elaine
- Or with Molly
- I will not let Carlos encourage it either.

I will not use soufire to form a light saber.

I will not pen my own version of the Necrocomicon
- At least not a version that explains the Darkhallow

I will not give kinetic rings away to trick-or-treaters.
- Again...

I will not call Prince Charles to wield a sword of the cross
- Prince William either
- Prince Harry maybe. His name has a nice ring to it.

I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Kincaid.

[Quantus]

I will not use soulfire to form a light saber.

Hell Yes I Will.  I dont need no stinkin' Warden Sword 

[Thrasher]

Hell Yes I Will.  I dont need no stinkin' Warden Sword 

Fine, we'll modify

I will not use soulfire to form a lightsaber and then tell my enemies if they strike me down that I shall become more powerful than they can possibly imagine.

[bookivore]

Oh, that one inspired me-

I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Kincaid.

How about I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Murphy's Mom?

[Priscellie]

Oh, that one inspired me-
How about I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Murphy's Mom?

Nah, Murphy's mom is being set up with Mac.

[Soulless Mystic5523]

I won't write a flawed Necronomicon that kills anyone who tries to use it.
- Even if the book attacks them when they touch it.
- Even if it opens on to a black hole.
-- Even though it would make my job as a Warden easier.