McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Show the Best of your Worst Writing
LizW65:
"Blood, blood, blood.
It spattered the walls, the floor, even the ceiling in totally random yet strangely artistic configurations that Jackson Pollack, had he been there to see them, would surely have admired, before hurrying home to his studio to duplicate the effect on canvas."
And yes, that's the real opener I penned for a murder mystery that my cousin and I collaborated on about 20 years ago.
Masuri:
--- Quote from: Mickey Finn on August 10, 2007, 09:46:07 PM ---I outsourced to India:
I stared at the email from my tech support desk, and the message it contained: "Please do the needful." Was this a matter of bad translation, or a request to perform certain...favours...on the impoverished?
I shudder to think what someone over there who took the same English course might do if they were also a hacker..."P13z do teh N33d4...." The mind boggles.
******************
Ok, I suck at this.
But hey...it was a true story.
--- End quote ---
Ha! If I had a dime for every time I have been told to "Please do the needful" I'd be a very rich woman indeed. ;)
Josh:
Hah. I loved that:
"Blood, blood, blood."
Classic.
Yeratel:
It was a dark and stormy night as The Writer sat brooding before the blank lavender tinted LCD screen of his computer (for he had read in some New Agey screed that lavender inspired creativity, and hadn't realized the article meant the herb, not the color), sweating and straining with all his might to force out a brilliant hook of an opening line for his latest novel, in spite of a case of writer's block that had stopped up his creative process worse than the cheese pizza he'd eaten that afternoon (Pappa John's) had stopped up his alimentary canal, when a blast of lightning crashing into and igniting the roof of the house across the street delivered the dose of Heaven-sent inspirational Ex-Lax he needed, and he began to type furiously, "The building was on fire, and it was not my fault. . ."
LizW65:
--- Quote from: Yeratel on August 13, 2007, 04:46:15 AM ---It was a dark and stormy night as The Writer sat brooding before the blank lavender tinted LCD screen of his computer (for he had read in some New Agey screed that lavender inspired creativity, and hadn't realized the article meant the herb, not the color), sweating and straining with all his might to force out a brilliant hook of an opening line for his latest novel, in spite of a case of writer's block that had stopped up his creative process worse than the cheese pizza he'd eaten that afternoon (Pappa John's) had stopped up his alimentary canal, when a blast of lightning crashing into and igniting the roof of the house across the street delivered the dose of Heaven-sent inspirational Ex-Lax he needed, and he began to type furiously, "The building was on fire, and it was not my fault. . ."
--- End quote ---
LOL! Love it!
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