McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Request help livening up a boring exposition scene

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daranthered:

--- Quote ---I regard that as an excellent opportunity to up the romantic and/or sexual tension.
--- End quote ---

I agree completely. 

Apocrypha:
Well now that you explain it that way...any tension is good tension.

Bow chicka bow bow -  :D

belial.1980:
Imbuing conflict into the scene is often good way to make it grasp the readers' attention. Maybe a 3rd party comes seeking revenge against the patsy and the detective has to try and explain things to his secretary while involved in a shoot out. Imagine the logistics of trying to get her up to speed while he's trying to hold her down behind cover, keep himself safe, and maybe return fire. Likewise it could be a running gunfight through alleyways, etc. Maybe it even turns into a car chase. If the secretary gets involved in the action, all the better. (She drives, he shoots?)

Regardless of what you do, I think it'll be more dramatic if the protagonists have a high stakes goal to achieve, in addition to the basic info dump. Good luck, whatever direction you go with this.

mightyutuvan:
Maybe after spending the night he is trying to hurry up and get out there.  He is trying to explain this complicated situation without it sounding like a lame excuse to bolt after a one night quickie. 

I'd make him fail and sound lame.  She could be pissed and later find out the truth in a flooding bank vault.

or Not.

Breandan:
apologies for the shop-talk here, but it will help a bit...

In regards to the detail, was it a low-key bodyguard detail, celebrity detail, executive protection, or a full-bore PSD? Considering it's a PI and not a PMC, DSC, or SpecOps operator, the latter is probably out, but I need to clear that up. Each of those types of protective details is very different in how it is planned, staffed, equipped, and how it operates. Knowing the specific type would allow me to help you with details, and that can also help draw the reader in. One thing I truly love when reading a book is when an author either has first-hand experience and it shows, or has done extensive and detailed research, and it likewise shows. Details- albeit a moderate amount of them, best not to go too overboard- can be as acutely critical to hooking a reader as action scenes.

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