McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Request help livening up a boring exposition scene

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LizW65:
Here's the basic scenario from my WIP:  one of two protagonists, a private detective, has come to the realization that what appeared on the surface to be a routine bodyguard detail was in fact part of an elaborate plot to frame him for murder.  In the scene in question, he's explaining all this to the other protagonist, his secretary, so the two of them can proceed to expose the plot and clear his name.

So far, it's basically a 2-3 page monologue by the PI telling her what he thinks is going on; she interrupts with the occasional question.  Problem is, as written its dull, but I'm frankly stuck on how to make it more exciting.  Any suggestions on how you guys handle this kind of thing would be welcome.
 
(If it helps, the majority of the chapters are first person from the secretary's POV; they are interspersed with a handful of third person chapters from the PI's POV.  The chapter in which this occurs is one of the third person ones.)

Romantic Heretic:
Hmmm. I'd say add a little emotion to the situation.

Have the main character bang on the desk in frustration. Grit his teeth in anger. Throw something across the room.

What is the relationship between the gumshoe and his secretary? Are they simply employer and employee? Friends? Friends but hoping for more? Lovers? Not fond of each other and show it through verbal barbs? Write how the secretary reacts.

Hope this helps.

Apocrypha:
What about changing the location?

Instead of having them in the office perhaps they are in some kind of pursuit - a foot chase or car chase and he's explaining it to the secretary while they're avoiding capture?  That could work if they know he's onto them.

LizW65:
Thanks to both.  I think it definitely needs more action; the issue is to figure out what.

They aren't actually at the office at this point; they're at her apartment and he spent the night on her couch after his get-out-of-jail celebratory dinner.  Currently they're at the "good friends but secretly want to be more; unwilling to do anything to jeopardize the professional relationship" stage.

Romantic Heretic:
I regard that as an excellent opportunity to up the romantic and/or sexual tension. :)

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