Author Topic: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do  (Read 250924 times)

Offline GamerGirlsRock

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #285 on: June 19, 2008, 03:54:22 AM »
I will not keep trying to get Murphy to arrest Michael for public indecency because of his "Carpenter's crack".

Somehow I doubt his pants fit that badly. He doesn't seem the type to develop paunch--too much swordwork--nor do I think Charity would let him buy clothes that don't fit (too likely to cause problems in a fight).
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Offline Shecky

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #286 on: June 19, 2008, 01:53:34 PM »
Somehow I doubt his pants fit that badly. He doesn't seem the type to develop paunch--too much swordwork--nor do I think Charity would let him buy clothes that don't fit (too likely to cause problems in a fight).

It was a joke. Put yer hands up; they're goin' right over your head. ;D
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Offline Priscellie

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #287 on: June 19, 2008, 03:23:25 PM »
So is a joke about Michael a Carpenter's crack?  Or is that what Molly was arrested with before the events of Proven Guilty?

Offline Shecky

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #288 on: June 19, 2008, 04:33:25 PM »
Yes.
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Well, if you couldn't do that with your bulls***, Leonard, I suspect the lad's impervious.

Offline Levi

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #289 on: June 19, 2008, 09:11:25 PM »
I will not shout "Parlay" when surrounded by the bad guys.

While escaping after being captured, I will not say, "You'll always remember this as the day you almost caught..."
- It was funny the first 20 times or so.
- They catch me again while I'm saying it.

I will not teach Molly that the first rule of Wizarding is, "Close your eyes and pretend it's all just a bad dream. That's how I get by."

"Hello, beastie..." is not an appropriate greeting for members of the supernatural community. They take offense at it.
- So also, "Do you fear death?"

"Sea turtles, mate" is not an adequate explanation for anything that happens because of me.
Maybe I'd been shut away in my lab too long, but Spenser never mentions that Mab has a great ass.
So I notice these things. So sue me.

Offline pookakitten

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #290 on: June 19, 2008, 10:15:31 PM »
(click to show/hide)
That’s the great thing about being a wizard.  I can always tell myself, honestly, that things could be worse.  -- Harry Dresden, Fool Moon

Offline GamerGirlsRock

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #291 on: June 20, 2008, 04:27:28 AM »
I will not name my zipper collection "The Dresden Flies".
--nor my bugs.
--nor the Za Guard.
--nor the brownie cleaning crew.
--Dammit, there's just no appreciation for a good pun anymore.
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Offline MAW

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #292 on: June 20, 2008, 07:34:55 AM »
I will not call myself "The Lord of the Morning"
I will not refer to the black council as "Darkfriends"
I will not reprimand Murphy for sniffing at my humor.
I will not refer to the Denarians as the forsaken.

I will not refer to the knights as "Athos, Porthos, and Arimis".

And I will never, ever let my apprentice refer to me as "Master".  There just aren't enough cold showers in the world.
"Also, I can kill you with my brain."  -- River Tam; Firefly.

Offline Dragonblood309

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #293 on: June 20, 2008, 12:56:16 PM »
I must stop getting angry at Jim for putting me in such dangerous situations.
This nurse walks into a bank and wants to write a check. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a rectal thermometer. She looks at it and says "Oh no! Some asshole has my pen!"

Offline Thrasher

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #294 on: June 20, 2008, 02:50:34 PM »
I will not try to encourage a wizard menage a trois with Anastasia and Elaine
- Or with Molly
- I will not let Carlos encourage it either.

I will not use soufire to form a light saber.

I will not pen my own version of the Necrocomicon
- At least not a version that explains the Darkhallow

I will not give kinetic rings away to trick-or-treaters.
- Again...

I will not call Prince Charles to wield a sword of the cross
- Prince William either
- Prince Harry maybe. His name has a nice ring to it.

I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Kincaid.
Well there's a light in your eye that keeps shining, like a star that can't wait for the night.

Offline Quantus

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #295 on: June 20, 2008, 04:41:07 PM »
I will not use soulfire to form a light saber.

Hell Yes I Will.  I dont need no stinkin' Warden Sword  ;D
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Offline Thrasher

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #296 on: June 20, 2008, 05:43:02 PM »
Hell Yes I Will.  I dont need no stinkin' Warden Sword  ;D

Fine, we'll modify

I will not use soulfire to form a lightsaber and then tell my enemies if they strike me down that I shall become more powerful than they can possibly imagine.
Well there's a light in your eye that keeps shining, like a star that can't wait for the night.

Offline bookivore

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #297 on: June 20, 2008, 07:21:20 PM »
Oh, that one inspired me-
Quote
I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Kincaid.

How about I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Murphy's Mom?

Offline Priscellie

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #298 on: June 20, 2008, 07:24:02 PM »
Oh, that one inspired me-
How about I will not set up a blind date between Ebenezar and Murphy's Mom?

Nah, Murphy's mom is being set up with Mac.

Offline Soulless Mystic5523

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Re: Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do
« Reply #299 on: June 20, 2008, 08:11:28 PM »
I won't write a flawed Necronomicon that kills anyone who tries to use it.
- Even if the book attacks them when they touch it.
- Even if it opens on to a black hole.
-- Even though it would make my job as a Warden easier.
WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN.

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