Author Topic: Fanfic characters  (Read 11234 times)

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #45 on: March 01, 2016, 09:14:20 PM »
There was some of the first Swedish lines that were weird. I could tell that it was a direct translation, as the word-flow was off.

The line: "inte innebär mig i dina sexlekar med vampyren" should probably be "inkludera inte mig i dina sexlekar med vampyren"  (Don't include me in your sexgames with the vampire)

And "Jag kommer tala väl om eder efter att hon förbrukat er ande" does sound rather old-fashioned and stilted. It works though.   (I will speak well of you after she has consumed your soul).

The other Swedish phrases was much better.
Thanks!  I'll probably go ahead and update that one, and I'll remember to come to you for Swedish translations in the future.  Google only does so well. 

Quote
Cool. Why do I get a feeling that she and Anya will be friendly if she returns... The protagonist's view of what would happen if she and Anya met was interesting.
The changes you did to her works much better than what her powers were in the campaign I play in. Of course the stone could be seens as a kind of divination. ;)

/Ulfgeir
Anya's tastes don't typically run towards men, and Amy seemed like just her type.  In this version of Amy, she's from Boston, but currently in New York with her master.  Since Anya is from there, and visits, it seems likely that Amy will be seen again at some point.

Reading your description, she didn't come off as a warrior, so I didn't want to force her into that roll.  She's more of an enchantress and item user.  Her divination is mentioned, but is low key in this story, as she's still getting training from her master, who conveniently has a strong divination background. 

Offline Ulfgeir

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 1566
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #46 on: March 02, 2016, 07:48:36 PM »
Btw, this phrase: "Jag kommer tala väl om eder efter att hon förbrukat er ande" a more modern translation would be "Jag kommer tala väl om er efter att hon ätit upp er själ."

Have now also read the other books. Very cool. How much time is supposed to have been spent between book 4 and 5?

/Ulfgeir
« Last Edit: March 02, 2016, 08:00:24 PM by Ulfgeir »
I have not lost my mind, it is backed up somewhere on disc...

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #47 on: March 02, 2016, 09:41:10 PM »
Btw, this phrase: "Jag kommer tala väl om eder efter att hon förbrukat er ande" a more modern translation would be "Jag kommer tala väl om er efter att hon ätit upp er själ."

Have now also read the other books. Very cool. How much time is supposed to have been spent between book 4 and 5?

/Ulfgeir
I think it was a little over a year, if I recall.  It's the span between when Harry went down to new Orleans and the events of Turn Coat.  Why?

Offline Ulfgeir

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 1566
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #48 on: March 02, 2016, 09:58:19 PM »
I think it was a little over a year, if I recall.  It's the span between when Harry went down to new Orleans and the events of Turn Coat.  Why?

In the blurb for both stories you say they have spoilers from both Turn Coat and Cold days.... In the latest you clearly reference Turn Coat, but if the references/spoilers in story 4 is what I think they are, then you have a bit of a time-problem as that then means that on one hand they occur with very short intervall and on the other hand a long time has passed between them. 

/Ulfgeir
I have not lost my mind, it is backed up somewhere on disc...

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #49 on: March 02, 2016, 10:09:32 PM »
In the blurb for both stories you say they have spoilers from both Turn Coat and Cold days.... In the latest you clearly reference Turn Coat, but if the references/spoilers in story 4 is what I think they are, then you have a bit of a time-problem as that then means that on one hand they occur with very short intervall and on the other hand a long time has passed between them. 

/Ulfgeir
Ah.  Yes, the spoilers warning isn't so much a timeline reference so much as an information reference.  Woody may find out about our see things before Harry does.  I didn't want to risk (however unlikely) someone seeing something in the stories that they hadn't read first in the series.

Offline Amelia Crane

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 998
  • Estranged Daughter of Darby Crane
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #50 on: March 04, 2016, 02:15:58 AM »
I finally got around to reading the story.  It's a good read.

Penny seemed to have a plenty large role, even from the start.  She was suitably naive.  And heck, she even survived.

Katya was every bit as dangerous as she was intended to be.  When she is in a fight nobody actually ever sees her.  She even gets a little conversation time in the story.  There was one way that Katya in your story differs greatly from the Katya I wrote, and that is she allowed a Lawbreaker to live.  My Katya would not do that without some very serious mind control going on since her high concept was Greycloaked Assassin of Warlocks.  That said, your Katya fit the story and provided the quite significant level of opposition your protagonist needed.  So overall, I'd have to say she was well used.

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #51 on: March 04, 2016, 02:55:54 AM »
I finally got around to reading the story.  It's a good read.

Penny seemed to have a plenty large role, even from the start.  She was suitably naive.  And heck, she even survived.

Katya was every bit as dangerous as she was intended to be.  When she is in a fight nobody actually ever sees her.  She even gets a little conversation time in the story.  There was one way that Katya in your story differs greatly from the Katya I wrote, and that is she allowed a Lawbreaker to live.  My Katya would not do that without some very serious mind control going on since her high concept was Greycloaked Assassin of Warlocks.  That said, your Katya fit the story and provided the quite significant level of opposition your protagonist needed.  So overall, I'd have to say she was well used.
Thanks.  In regards to Penny...
(click to show/hide)


As for Katya...
(click to show/hide)

Offline Cadd

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 474
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #52 on: March 04, 2016, 03:34:49 AM »
Since I want to appreciate the full story, I started from the beginning.
Four days and four books later, I can confidently say that I'm hooked!

I'll report back in when I'm through Hell Bent, just wanted to let you know I really like your stories! ;)

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #53 on: March 04, 2016, 03:53:19 AM »
Since I want to appreciate the full story, I started from the beginning.
Four days and four books later, I can confidently say that I'm hooked!

I'll report back in when I'm through Hell Bent, just wanted to let you know I really like your stories! ;)
Thanks, good to hear!  And I hope I did Martin justice.  I had to tweak a few things, but tried to stay true to the description.

Offline Amelia Crane

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 998
  • Estranged Daughter of Darby Crane
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #54 on: March 04, 2016, 09:19:31 PM »
As for Katya...

I look forward to reading your future stories.    ;D

Offline Ulfgeir

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 1566
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #55 on: March 04, 2016, 09:49:45 PM »
I look forward to reading your future stories.    ;D

I think we all look forward with interest for what will come.  ;) Lots of interesting characters and stories.
I can't wait to see what Woody will think about the happenings in Changes... If he disliked Dresden earlier.... Lol

/Ulfgeir
I have not lost my mind, it is backed up somewhere on disc...

Offline Griffyn612

  • The Merlin
  • Seriously?
  • *******
  • Posts: 11725
    • View Profile
Re: Fanfic characters
« Reply #56 on: March 12, 2016, 12:37:41 AM »
*le sigh*...

apgray was kind enough to point out that a chapter was missing.  I've added it (chapter 22), which should make a little more sense than the previous unexplained jump from Chapter 21 to Chapter 23.