I chatted with the players about this some more, and I was taking character frustration as if it were player frustration (one player was legitimately frustrated, but admitted he was probably not going about it right).
I guess what I want to do now is write sort of a behavioral code for them. Fae are supposed to be so intricately bound to the concepts of balance that they are almost like computers or weathervanes in that regard. Which makes one wonder why the previous Summer Lady went crazy and started causing the imbalances she did.
Anyway, my thoughts so far are to categorize the behavioral templates according to level. I don't have elements to add to all the categories, but the categories would be:
High Sidhe(Lady/Queen/Crone, Lea)
- High Sidhe cannot initiate intervention in mortal affairs, except through their appointed mortal Knight; however, if a mortal interferes with their affairs first (knowingly or not), they can take action in retaliation.
Sidhe (Lords and Ladies, Elder Gruff)
- Sidhe commonly have sworn Oaths of fealty to the High Sidhe of their Court, and are accordingly beholden to them; this is not universal, however, and there are many who are not bound by such Oaths.
- while Sidhe predominantly act according to their nature, they have a breadth of power and experience which allows them, as need dictates, to improvise or act outside of their usual nature
- unlike common fae, Sidhe cannot utter something they believe to be false, but saying something anyone else will think is a lie is just fine (i.e. Mab promising Harry she would not punish him for failing in Summer Knight... and then causing him pain out of spite - the pain wasn't because he failed - it was because she felt like it); note that they will exploit and twist this for all manner of deception
Court Fae
- must obey Sidhe and higher of their Court
Wyldfae
- I don't know if there needs to be anything about being recruited/recruitable
All Fae
Truth
- common fae will exploit and twist the truth for all manner of deception, and may exaggerate or even lie outright - however, anything a fae says three times is an oath and/or the sworn truth, though demanding that a fae do so is commonly taken as an insult
- anything a human says to a fae three times is taken as the sworn truth, and if proved otherwise, the human may suffer the retribution of the fae
Oaths and Contracts
- anything a human promises to a fae three times is taken as an oath, and if broken, the human may suffer the effects of breaking an Oath (See "Oaths, Bonds, and Bargains" YS 274) as well as retribution from the fae
- any deal with the fae will be upheld from their end, though they tend to respect only the letter of any deal they make. God help you if you fail your end of a deal. (God help you even if you don't!)
Boons and Debts
- any boon (gift, favor, etc.) given or received incurs a debt, which must be reciprocated in measure (though not necessarily in like kind, and a mortal is always welcome to accept a smaller boon if that is their whim, especially if it involves donuts)
- any boon received or recognized by a mortal is implicit acceptance of debt (fae by their nature are unlikely to accept boons as casually as mortals do)
- any expression of thanks or obligation implies a boon (fae by their nature are unlikely to give thanks as casually as mortals do)
- debts are transferable between fae, particularly when the debtholder is temporarily or permanently unable to honor a particular debt
- particularly weighty debts are carried on through blood: this includes debts owed to a mortal, as well as debts owed by a mortal
- never offer help without assessing a commensurate debt
- never accept gifts without returning a commensurate boon
True Name
- fae have a Name that defines them - although their True Name doesn't magically make one able to command a fae outright, it is a mystical link one could use with thaumaturgy, and since fae rarely leave other sympathetic links around (read: never), it is the most reliable way to use thaumaturgy on them at all; and thaumaturgy, having no upper limit in its power, IS a big deal and most fae will do what is demanded out of fear their Name might be given to their enemies or otherwise used to harm the fae.
Mortal Will
- fae are not allowed (not can't, just not allowed) to violate free will (i.e. they wouldn't be allowed to just mindtrick you into doing stuff for them or killing you); if, however, you owe them for any reason (a broken oath, a debt, attacking them and so on), that protection is lifted and they can pursue their due in any way they want
Fae Nature
- common fae almost always act according to their nature - humans can choose or be persuaded to act contrary to their moods, character traits, duties and positions and suffer the consequences, but Fae can't; a fae bully will always be a fae bully, a manipulative fae will always be a manipulative fae and so on, even when acting so is stupid, harmful to them or both.
Any thoughts or corrections?