I humbly suggest you use any formal names for moves or strikes sparingly, if at all.  Too many books go on about ""Eagle Claw Striking Fist of The Mystic Schoolboy", "Jade Mantis Striking the Cinnibar Monkey In Autumn Foliage," etc..... I'm sure you get the picture.  My Obsidian Panda School will defeat your Steel Battle Carp Style!

Some of the best fights I've read were from John D. McDonald's "Travis McGee" books.  The narration style and flavor changed, depending on how serious a fight was going on.  I particularly remember phrases like "an uppercut that started somewhere around the floor and left me wondering where my head was going to land", it lends the sense of confusion and desparation that one feels when having one's brain sloshed around inside their skull.  And with brawls where he had the other guy totally outclassed, the writing style was more calm, casual and perky even.  A brutal paraphrase, "Eager to impress his audience, he came at me all studio black belt, "Hah!" and "Hiyah", so I stepped in and gave him a couple to the kidney, then eased him over to the couch and sat him down."  And there have been times where McGee butted heads with a true professional, and got handed his ass.  (For example, in one book, some MOSSAD boys left Travis McGee, Heroic Badass, wondering WTF? Hunh? Whuuzat?" )

Just a thought, and please remember, those aren't direct quotes, just soup from the bits I remember off-hand.

However, you go, good luck with the writing!

LOL -- that is when you pull out the demon's Mommy!  Didn't anyone ever tell you that?

Ah, that was the other part of the screwup.  Not having contingencies for when players demonstrate their usual talent for screwing things up from Hell to breakfast.

Since then, I learned to have a Stack of Unpleasantness and Prepositioned Nastiness from which I could pull out something nasty to keep things interesting and educational.  

I'll have to check this game out. I've not done pen & paper in years, due to the overly irritating nature of the few people in my area who actually play  (I have the heads of several rules lawyers on the wall in the cellar)...but this sounds too good to pass up...even if it means *teaching* my wife and friends to *enjoy* P&P rather than MMORG's.  (You're having fun now, honey, aren't you?  Here...drink this...you don't mind the graphics now, do you sweetie? Thaaaat's a good girl...)

Quite the effort will be required, but I know none of them can pass up the opportunity to visit Dresden's world.

I know I can't pass it up.