McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Grammar Challenge... Are you up to the task?

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meg_evonne:
I found this sentence (punctuation removed) from a recent read. I'm curious how you would punctuate it.  I'll wait a few days and then post the copy from the book and identify it. I know it's tough to read without punctuation (even tougher to type), but I figure we'll see a wide variety of suggestions.  Grammar: science or art, or perhaps science and art?   

"He saw himself as a man manager and was a public voice in the drive to reform Scotlands penal system brighter better-equipped halls a strong emphasis on vocational training education and counseling no more overcrowding no more brutality." 

I certainly would not have written it as the author did, but I'm a grammar duffer at the best of times.

Shecky:
Depends on a number of factors: what exactly were the author's intentions in terms of meaning? What style? Is it intended to mimic an oral approach?

Gruud:
Here's my edit  ;D

"He saw himself as a man manager, and was a public voice in the drive to reform Scotlands penal system; brighter, better-equipped halls, a strong emphasis on vocational training, education and counseling; no more overcrowding, no more brutality." 


I can diagram them too, although I'd not want to do this one.  ;)

black_hawk_sam:
He saw himself as a man, manager and was a public voice in the drive to reform Scotland's penal system; brighter, better-equipped halls; a strong emphasis on vocational training. Education and counseling; no more overcrowding, no more brutality...


It's different, and not exactly how I would have worded it but... whatevs.

meg_evonne:
both are close. To make it easier, I will allow that it reads, "man manager" with quotes, although there may be additional punctuation in there as well.  And you are both very close.

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