McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Awkward Fight Scene

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arianne:
"Junior high alpha males" is funny? *scratches head* ??? (No, I get what you mean, two 10+ year olds thinking they're the toughest things in the world, it is kind of funny at that.)

And yes, you're right, "playground" does call to mind images of jungle gyms and swings! I was initally thinking about something like an empty parking lot or some quad-like area within the school, but somehow somewhere between my brain and my fingers the word "playground" slipped out.  ;D

It would be complicated to explain why, but let's just say that it would be impossible for these two characters to do the "locker message" thing as mentioned by jeno...I was thinking in terms of a face to face "Meet me in the vacant warehouse [or wherever] at seven tonight or the whole school'll know what a coward you are, you little punk!"

"Just you and me?"

"Yeah, just you and me, man to man, you &*%$*&^&*)(....Let's see if you're man enough to show and get your butt kicked..."

etc etc (see what I mean about sounding like Gandalf...? Okay, a very grumpy, very rude Gandalf...) :o

I was wondering how it would work for an adult to come in right as the "meet me there, you punk"s get exchanged...I mean, wouldn't the adult sorta quell that sort of thing, seeing as how he's a teacher and all? I don't see a 40 something male standing politely aside while two kids negotiate the terms of their "date"...!

I'm getting a better idea of how the date should go down (thanks, guys, btw!) But I feel like I still need to get some sort of fix on the dialogue. Any suggestions on that front?

OZ:
Usually what would happen is the kids would be talking to each other, maybe pushing a little when the teacher shows up and everyone scatters. The two that were mad walk off side by side talking to each other under their breath. It doesn't take a long exchange just a quick muttered, " Meet me after school at the park and we'll finish this....If you're not afraid." and a quick answer. "I'll be there at 3:30." Then the kids go there separate ways. Of course word will quickly spread either because the two will tell their friends or someone will be walking close enough to overhear.

Wizard H:
I sadly have personal experience with just those sorts of situations, and I agree that the simplest thing to do would be to have the begin their shoving contest at one end of a outdoor basketball court or quad area.  A blacktop basketball court and a lot of flat grassy area was all the 'playground' we had in Jr High.  You could easily have a teacher round the corner at the other end of the court, out of earshot but within sight of the scuffle.  The crowd would disperse quickly and usually a bit nervously, the two boys would as previously mentioned be able to trade a few quick words quietly to arrange a meet later, though in my experiences someplace else like a public park at night away from the school.  Most kids that age won't want to go back there to settle things.  Depending on how dutiful the teacher is most in my experience are content with simply seeing everyone disperse.  A better teacher may pull the two boys aside and ask what happened, but it was always understood in those cases that you replied with nothing.  Also that you said as little as possible.

LizW65:
Actually, a couple of "alpha male" preteens trying to sound like Gandalf sounds pretty damn hilarious to me:  "Fly, you fools!  It's the principal!"
Agree with the previous posters that the final confrontation should take place elsewhere, however.

arianne:
I probably will change the "final fight" to take place elsewhere...there are just a few too many variables involved with coming back to school late at night/after school.

I would imagine that the actual datemaking would have a lot of cussing than just a simple, "Yeah, meet me over at the park, punk! Five thirty...let's see who's the coward then", but otherwise the "under their breath muttering" method of arranging a meeting time and place can be fitted in to the story...

 :D Thanks again, guys!

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