McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Awkward Fight Scene
arianne:
Wonder if I could get a little help here...
I have two junior high school alpha males who are feuding with each other. In the scene I'm working on, their two groups meet in school and start pushing each other around (yeah, we all remember what it was like to be in junior high... ;D)
The thing is, the scene has to end with the boys making an appointment to fight in the playground at a later date, as the climax of the story depends on them doing so.
If anyone has knowledge (or *ahem* personal experience) of this kind of situation, could you explain how this kind of "date" usually is made? Why would two hot headed boys agree to back down and fight at a later date when they're with all their friends, with half the school looking on besides? Wouldn't backing down equal weakness and/or wimpiness?
I did try to do something about this scene, but right now the characters all sound like they're eating cardboard. I need to add in some stuff and make it more natural...like the kind of thing an actual teenager would say as oppsed to something Gandalf from Lord of the Rings would say...
Thanks in advance for any advice!
jeno:
Heh. The image of two 'junior high school alpha males' is really funny. ;D
First, I gotta say, 'playground' seems a bit too young for this age bracket. I don't see junior high kids fighting there, or even meeting to fight there at a later time. Kids at that age want to distance themselves from elementary school, not go back to it's trappings. Maybe a park could work, sure, but not a playground. *shrug*
As for the fight...easiest way would be for an adult to show up from around the corner. The adult doesn't have to see the initial scuffle - someone could just give out a warning that an adult is coming so everyone scatters, diffusing the situation quickly while still leaving things undone.
Messages and messengers were a big thing in junior high, as I recall. After the groups scatter, one group could send a messenger to the other saying, 'meet at such and such place at so and so time or you're a coward! 'cause you're afraid i'll kick your ass!' You could also just have the message be written down and dropped on someone's books or in his locker.
This way you could side step all the awkward dialog and keep the tension/suspense high at the same time. :)
Starbeam:
Jeno's suggestions are really good. Pretty much everything I can remember was that the kids would threaten to beat each other up at some designated place after school(though my memories are from elementary) specifically so that they wouldn't get caught by any of the teachers or the principal. So even if there aren't any adults who end up interrupting, like Jeno suggested, you could have them facing each other and agree to meet after school. What all I remember with fights, they rarely happened on school grounds until high school because it was too easy to get interrupted and pulled apart and taken to the principal's office. Part of that can also depend on how the school is laid out. My high school took up a large area, and all the buildings were a decent space apart, so it was easier to get away with there.
Snowleopard:
I agree with Jeno. Even in Jr. High - two alpha males would not back down. It would take something like an adult showing up to get them to split. Could be an adult. If it's two kids from the wrong side of the tracks - it could be a police car cruising by.
Razzazzika:
I don't know exactly the who's and what-for's of your story, but I would either do a) as previously mentioned have a teacher or other intimidating adult break up first fight, or b) have attractive female figure, perhaps girlfriend of one, step in and say something like, "Not now, I wanna get to class on time," or something like that, y'know. That would probably detract from the alpha male image however, and it would probably be best to go with the classic a) teacher's coming, run scenario, but just putting forth a thought.
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