McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Creating a Vampire Breed - A critique would be appreciated

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seekmore:
Post edited per mod request.

Starbeam:
So...they're Twilight vampires but without the crappy bits?

Hoyled:
The rots in the sun bit I havent seen before. The rest Ive seen, some of it alot.

comprex:

Are you trying to write a literal 'No rest for the wicked' plot?   

 Given the above abilities parameters, *no* vampire would *ever* rest other than once every two weeks.

I'd look into modifying rest/sleep/meditate:

a) gives some sort of benefit to all vamps, maybe increased mental faculties, increased ability to resist sire, certainly more resistant to sunlight.

b) allows a benefit based on feeding (like deer-fed or chicken-fed or hog-fed vamps can resist the Hunger better through rest)

Other thoughts:
- make the venom correspond to the diet, maybe mimic human or animal-parasitic patterns like viral ones, so that a vampire feeding on humans and pigs would be dangerous to both?

- elaborate what venom does to vamps not the victims

- elaborate what keeps the overall population of vamps in check.

seekmore:
Post edited per mod request.

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