McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
RobJN:
Wow, the edits really do add some 'snap'... but I wonder if the pace is a bit *too* fast. Hm. Fine line in pacing that opening scene.
I do appreciate the advice on the "said" "asked" and "whispered." As a good chunk of the work is dialogue, I'll need to go through with the diamond-edged red-pen ;)
I thought it was going to just be a short story, or maybe a handful of scenes that would work themselves out.... But the latest word count on the project sits around 75,000 -- several hundred, at least, you've shown me I can do without. Well, editing is what happens after I finish bleeding out all over the page.
--- Quote ---*what*----best and neatest choice of words in this section that's going to drive me crazy until I get the answer---just what not who was she named for? LOL
--- End quote ---
I'd almost forgotten that she snuck that in there. Crafty girl, that Beth... ;D
So, I take it you're hooked? ;) [shameless plug] You can find the answer on the blog where the first draft is going up, bit by bit. [/shameless plug]
LizW65:
I would add "answered" and "replied" to the list of dialogue modifiers. Very, very infrequently I will add an adverb to the mix (e.g. "he said irritably") but I try to avoid them whenever possible*; one every 1000 words or so seems okay; otherwise it can get tiresome reading -ly, -ly, -ly all the time.
*if, for instance, I find myself using convoluted syntax and far too many words just to avoid the adverb.
comprex:
Just a style thing, but it relates to pacing: long words like 'amalgamations' tend to throw the reader off pace when they're in short-word text. Consider 'hybrids' or even 'amalgams' or 'mutations' or ....
BTW, I heart ‘retort’.
meg_evonne:
--- Quote from: comprex on July 12, 2009, 10:35:49 PM ---Just a style thing, but it relates to pacing: long words like 'amalgamations' tend to throw the reader off pace when they're in short-word text. Consider 'hybrids' or even 'amalgams' or 'mutations' or ....
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I didn't consider this but it makes complete sense. Thanks for the tip Comprex!!!
--- Quote from: RobJN on July 12, 2009, 09:00:15 PM ---Wow, the edits really do add some 'snap'... but I wonder if the pace is a bit *too* fast. Hm. Fine line in pacing that opening scene.
--- End quote ---
YEP and that's where the author makes the stand--like Gary Cooper in High Noon!!! :-)
--- Quote from: RobJN on July 12, 2009, 09:00:15 PM ---I thought it was going to just be a short story, or maybe a handful of scenes that would work themselves out.... But the latest word count on the project sits around 75,000 -- several hundred, at least, you've shown me I can do without. Well, editing is what happens after I finish bleeding out all over the page.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, and we THINK we are in charge, right?
--- Quote from: RobJN on July 12, 2009, 09:00:15 PM ---So, I take it you're hooked? ;) [shameless plug]
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Absolutely! (especially after getting a clean look at your great dialog!
--- Quote from: RobJN on July 12, 2009, 09:00:15 PM ---You can find the answer on the blog where the first draft is going up, bit by bit. [/shameless plug] thank you. i will.
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Rob, I put a follow on your blog, why isn't it under your name? And I start from the back right? I think mine is under meg_evonne, but I rarely post there.
RobJN:
--- Quote from: meg_evonne on July 13, 2009, 02:42:13 AM ---Rob, I put a follow on your blog, why isn't it under your name? And I start from the back right? I think mine is under meg_evonne, but I don't post there, I just post once in awhile.
--- End quote ---
Yes, the beginning of the tale is at the end of the blog, with the newest installment towards the "top."
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