Winning Lacuna Over

[Conspiracy Theorist]

We all ship TootTooth, but Toot seems to be making absolutely no progress in winning Lacuna over. I doubt Jim is going to leave this minor plot unresolved, the readers enjoy it to much and Jim appears to have a savage glee in making James Marsters voice Toot and Lacuna.

So how can it be resolved. Looking at the characters development and the world of the Dresdenverse, I can think of only one possibility where Lacuna  accepts Toots advances.

Toot kills Dracula.

Now hear me out. Readers deduced that Lacuna was a Tooth Fairy, confirmed by WOJ and in Battle Ground where Lacuna expressed obsessive interest in the teeth of the fallen. My own personal theory is that she was detailed to scrimshaw the teeth of Lloyd Slate whilst he was still alive, it seems very her style.

Therefore the thing most likely to attract the attention of Lacuna is teeth, and who is the owner of the most notorious teeth in the Dresdenverse?

Dracula.

Now Harry is set up for conflict with the Black Court following the events of Battle Ground, and during that conflict Toot attacked and beat Mavra, a Senior Black Court Vampire, perhaps foreshadowing him taking on Mavra’s sire himself.

It is therefore not improbable that at some point in accompanying Harry on the destruction of the Black Court Toot kills Dracula and removes his upper canine teeth or ‘fangs’ to present to Lacuna to make matching his and hers necklaces as a symbol of love.

Lacuna would never let one of a pair of the most prized teeth in creation out of her possession, and so will agree to Toots advances (but probably with notions of divorce or murder) to get the remaining Tooth.

[Mira]

Oh she's just playing hard to get...

[Conspiracy Theorist]

Yeah, but the engagement ring she would go for is a Trolls tooth, and she is in the wrong universe for that.

[Mira]

Yeah, but the engagement ring she would go for is a Trolls tooth, and she is in the wrong universe for that.

Naw, she wants one of Mab's wisdom teeth..

[Conspiracy Theorist]

Toot will only get one when Mab becomes Mother Winter.

Poor Toot, that may be a long wait given both are Immortals. Perhaps in the interim Toot could study to be a Dentist?

Perhaps not.

[Mira]

Toot will only get one when Mab becomes Mother Winter.

Poor Toot, that may be a long wait given both are Immortals. Perhaps in the interim Toot could study to be a Dentist?

Perhaps not.

Perhaps but it is obvious that Lacuna likes him, she just wants to make him suffer in some perverse way.  If Toot could only trick her into eating some pizza, say a vegetarian version with cauliflower crust, he might get her hooked, then she is his!

[Conspiracy Theorist]

Yes  but Toot needs a grand gesture big enough for Lacuna to drop her reserve. She needs the WOW moment Toot had when she took her helmet off.

And that is Dracula’s fangs. Killing Dracula would be Meh! Offering her the fangs would be WOW. Over the Teeth.

It is a horrible thought but giving a highly prized tooth is probably the gift amongst the Tooth Fairies

[Mira]

  Oh a loop garoo fang dangling from a silver chain.. 

[Conspiracy Theorist]

Don’t they revert back to human when they die? You just end up with a human tooth, a not terribly impressive trophy. Whilst Blamps don’t have fangs, I presume Dracula does because of his portrayal in the stoker book, he isn’t a Blamp.

You would want something which isn’t going to turn into ectoplasm or revert back to a human norm, so no Denarians, nothing wholly from the Never Never. A senior Ramp might have done but they are a bit rare these days.

[Mira]

Don’t they revert back to human when they die? You just end up with a human tooth, a not terribly impressive trophy. Whilst Blamps don’t have fangs, I presume Dracula does because of his portrayal in the stoker book, he isn’t a Blamp.

You would want something which isn’t going to turn into ectoplasm or revert back to a human norm, so no Denarians, nothing wholly from the Never Never. A senior Ramp might have done but they are a bit rare these days.

Knowing Toot, he may try anyway... Here is one, and he has attacked the beast before, a Skinwalker tooth.. Not even Lacuna could turn that down...

[Mr. Mouse]

Knowing Toot, he may try anyway... Here is one, and he has attacked the beast before, a Skinwalker tooth.. Not even Lacuna could turn that down...

Hmm, and there's one lying around Chicago somewhere after the battle. Harry notices Grey was missing a tooth or two when he delivered Justine.

[Conspiracy Theorist]

Grey is only a scion, it would be like giving a cubic zirconium instead of a diamond in an engagement ring.

[Mira]

Grey is only a scion, it would be like giving a cubic zirconium instead of a diamond in an engagement ring.

Yeah, no I can see Toot going after Shaggy himself with a pair of huge pliers..

[Conspiracy Theorist]

If bigger is better, I note that there is a forthcoming book with Kaiju, so therefore:-

Toot must kill Godzilla.

I’m not going to lie, Toot is going to need a larger set of pliers.

Perhaps Lacuna could use the tooth as furniture? A scrimshawed throne as Princess of the Tooth Fairies perhaps, with Toot as her consort.

[TrueMonk]

Well if making your throne out of a single tooth of your enemies isn't badass I don't know what is :-D

There is also the dragon that Harry is going to kill (I guess).