Author Topic: How not to do.  (Read 3672 times)

Offline Sebastian

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 949
    • View Profile
How not to do.
« on: March 06, 2009, 03:40:07 PM »
Heh. Lol
http://rinkworks.com/fnovel/

And while I'm sure most of you have seen this...
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
"I'm sorry, I'd like to help but I'm currently doing something very important. However, I could finish today and as soon as I'm done I'll do everything in my power to help you"
- How to promise help you have no intention of giving.

Offline Quantus

  • Special Collections Division
  • Needs A Life
  • ****
  • Posts: 25216
  • He Who Lurks Around
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2009, 04:50:14 PM »
Awesome.  Seen the overlord list obviously, but not the Writer's exam
<(o)> <(o)>
        / \
      (o o)
   \==-==/


“We’re all imaginary friends to one another."

"An entire life, an entire personality, can be permanently altered by just one sentence." -An Accidental Villain

Offline Matrix Refugee (formerly Morraeon)

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 1684
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2009, 12:08:42 AM »
:: Throws the writer's exam at Christopher Paolini::

Offline meg_evonne

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 5264
  • With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2009, 02:21:53 AM »
still love 'em---especially 8 and 54 and 74 and 75 on the first.   impossible to select the best from the evil overlord list.  LOL
"Calypso was offerin' Odysseus immortality, darlin'. Penelope offered him endurin' love. I myself just wanted some company." John Henry (Doc) Holliday from "Doc" by Mary Dorla Russell
Photo from Avatar.com by the Domestic Goddess

Offline LizW65

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 2093
  • Better Red than dead...
    • View Profile
    • elizabethkwadsworth.com
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2009, 03:40:55 PM »
these should be required reading for every aspiring fantasy writer.  Are there any similar lists for aspiring mystery writers?
"Make good art." -Neil Gaiman
"Or failing that, entertaining trash." -Me
http://www.elizabethkwadsworth.com

Offline Simon Hogwood

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 409
  • Proud Dresdenarian
    • View Profile
    • Words of Wonderment
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2009, 07:43:20 PM »
Quote
28. Is this the first book in a planned trilogy?
29. How about a quintet or a decalogue?
:D

This guy doesn't miss a trick, does he?
Blogging his way through The Dresden Files (currently on hiatus).

Offline Kali

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 2424
  • Redhead
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2009, 11:46:32 PM »
Oh no! Codex Alera fails on numbers 2, 3, possibly 4, 35, and 37!

We don't get just one life.  We get as many as we can cram into one lifetime.

Visit my page! JessaLynch.com

Offline knnn

  • Special Collections Division
  • Posty McPostington
  • ****
  • Posts: 4946
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2009, 12:08:38 AM »
I wonder what fantasy series fails on the most points?  It certainly seems to be written with R.Jordan in mind (33).
DV Geek code:

DV knnn v1.2 YR4 FR3 BK++ RP+ JB+ TH WG+ CL(+) SW++++ BC- MC---(+) SH[Murphy+, Molly+]

Find out your Dresden Files "Purity" score: http://knnn.x10.mx/purity2/purity.html

Offline Shecky

  • Bartender
  • O. M. G.
  • ****
  • Posts: 34672
  • Feh.
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 02:57:16 AM »
Um, Jim WRITES his stuff using as many trite old formulas as he can find. It's what got him his first sale. :D

Just proof that following the formulas isn't necessarily a bad thing; it's how you put them TOGETHER that counts. :)
Official forum rules and precepts; please read: http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/index.php/topic,23096.0.html

Quote from: Stanton Infeld
Well, if you couldn't do that with your bulls***, Leonard, I suspect the lad's impervious.

Offline El Diablo

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 2931
  • Mostly Harmless
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2009, 03:01:49 AM »
That's a good JB question to ask.
//Sings
"If you've been messaged to ignore me clap your hands!"
:)

knnn said "All must now bow in presence of your Dresden-Fu."

Offline JRBobC

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 2700
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2009, 03:13:54 AM »
Yeah.  If all authors followed that list to the letter there would be no new Fantasy/SciFi/Romance/Action/Drama tv shows, movies, books, comics, etc. 

Agree with Shecky, what matters is how its put together.
Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, PATIENCE IS A F***ING VIRTUE.  There, now I might be able to follow it.

Regarding Cover art: "You have no control. If you’re really lucky you get an art director who will let you use Vaseline when he bends you over." -Glen Cook

Offline belial.1980

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 202
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2009, 12:55:50 AM »
I've decided to write a spoof story that uses as many of these as possible, just for fun. Maybe if it's funny enough I'll post it up here.  :D
Love cannot save you from your fate.

- Jim Morrison

Offline Matrix Refugee (formerly Morraeon)

  • Posty McPostington
  • ***
  • Posts: 1684
    • View Profile
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #12 on: March 17, 2009, 01:36:55 AM »
I've decided to write a spoof story that uses as many of these as possible, just for fun. Maybe if it's funny enough I'll post it up here.  :D

Ooohh... I used to hang around the Godawful Fanfiction Forums before it dried up, and I can tell you, there were things on there that would give Denarians nightmares. How bad/cliche could it be??

Offline thausgt

  • Conversationalist
  • **
  • Posts: 212
  • Hyperspace Arsenal: A wizard's best friend.
    • View Profile
    • Perrin's Oddments
Re: How not to do.
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2009, 06:04:13 AM »
Um, Jim WRITES his stuff using as many trite old formulas as he can find. It's what got him his first sale. :D

Found this in one of my favorite "light reading" wikis. The fact that the "narrator" is named Bob is an utter coincidence:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SoYouWantTo/WriteAFilmNoir

Just proof that following the formulas isn't necessarily a bad thing; it's how you put them TOGETHER that counts. :)

Exactly. You could take a couple of your favorite cliches and see how you can twist them into something completely different... and more interesting.

For example, let's start with a basic one that would make Harry groan: "The Butler Did It". Our hero gets dragged into a classic murder mystery, and all the evidence seems to point toward the master of the dining room, wine cellar and pantries... until Harry notices that all of the evidence has been tampered with. After a lot of lightning crashes and mysterious chases, the true culprit is revealed: whose real name happens to be 'Butler'.

Of course, care must be taken to avoid turning a tense thriller into a farce. As Sherlock Holmes can attest, upon unmasking the murderous victim of all-but-unique shape-shifting curse: "Alimentary, my were-Datsun!"
From my heart and from my hand
Why don't people understand
My intentions?