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Messages - Blackstaff

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Policies / Re: Forum Rules and Precepts. Please read.
« on: September 17, 2016, 01:15:14 PM »
This post is to clarify some things about warnings.

Warnings are not meant to embarrass, humiliate, shame, or wield power over anyone.
The policy of respect and politeness on this board is unusual on the internet and the Mods understand that people can forget that, or forget to mode-switch when coming from elsewhere, or simply get emotional. That's why there are warnings.

There is no desire for a Mod to "Be Right" or "Exude Power" over of the primary requirements for being considered as a Mod is to lack such desires.  The goal of the mod where tensions run high is to return civility to a discussion.
As such, if you're being called out on your actions in a warning, even if you are the one who reported it to the mod, the 'good & proper' response would be one of the three:
1) Own up to it...this is the path the vast majority of people have done.
2) Politely disagree and state your case if you think the mod was incorrect. If you wish to take it to PMs, that's cool. If you're worried about face, you can post that you wish to discuss this in PM, and then do so. This needs to be a discussion and not a twisting of words or any other manipulation, including emotional or trying to get under someone's skin.
3) Quietly see it and not do it again. There is no requirement by staff or policy that you apologize to anyone. The Mods are not your parents and no one is being punished or made to shake hands.  If a ban occurs, it's to separate attitude from community.

A Report to Mod is just that. A notification. It is to make us aware of situation so we can deal with it. It is not a weapon to be used against someone you disagree with:
1) Telling someone you're reporting them to mod and then getting a last word in is both engaging in the behavior you're reporting and using Mod as a weapon. Just report it and move on.
2) If it's not clear,  trying to goad someone into losing their cool is bad....trying to goad them into losing it so the mods do something to them instead of you will not end well. No playground chess games. 

How the mods deal with it is subject to our view, outside of the head butting you're encountering. It may not be the perfect solution for you, but you're in the emotional thick of it.

If it makes you uncomfortable that reporting to the mods can backfire on you if you've also been 'acting out', remember the idea here is that everyone gets treated equally when it comes to warnings...if you act out because someone got under your skin, you're going to get called on it as well (reporting to mod by itself is not remotely acting out. How you reply in the post and what you put in the report can be).
Remember, you can try to deescalate the situation yourself (politely) before reporting, if it's simply butting heads. You are not required to, especially if its OTHERS butting heads and you see it spiraling out of control.
If you "get uppity" and inappropriate because someone else is breaking the rules at you, and you have an issue at the mods calling you on that, you're weaponizing the "Report to mod" feature.
"They did it first" is never a defense.

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