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Topics - Warden John Marcone

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Author Craft / My latest pathetic attempt
« on: January 25, 2011, 05:18:06 AM »
Sometimes I strike gold, sometimes I crash and burn.  Either way I'd like some feedback before I continue.  What I was thinking was a true wolf is in captivity as a stray (part dog, hence the confusion), and while his brethren plan to free him he's "adopted" by a family of humans.


The cage rattled as someone worked the door.  Another new guy, “feeding the wolf” like all the newcomers do.  He was talking over his shoulder and carrying a set of dishes.
“Yea, I’ll deal with it when I’m done here,” he said, then turned to look at me.  I fixed him with my most intense stare.  Such a look would send cubs scurrying for their mothers and prey running in terror.  He wasn’t even fazed, which made my all ready sour mood even worse.  Instead, he gave me the once-over, looking me up and down.  “Looks kind of like a wolf,” he finally said.
Well, maybe that’s because I AM kind of like a wolf!  Idiot.  I bared one of my fangs and snarled, hoping to scare him.  Instead he snorted a laugh and said, “Nice growl, pooch.”
Pooch?  Pooch!  I am Akela!  King of the Wolf Clans, Alpha of the North Pack, and Keeper of the Forest Song!  This pale skin should have been cowering in fear of me, not treating me like some common RAT dog!  I wanted to attack him, bear this fool to the ground and rip his throat out, tasting his life-blood on my tongue as he cried his last!  But I was also no fool.  I knew that if I tried, successful or not another pale-skin would come with his Sleeper’s Tube, and I would never wake up.  The pale skins would send me to the Sky Forest before my time, so I stomached my rage and glared.
He set my bowls down and turned his back on me.  Only a pale skin, I had to tell myself.  He’s only a stupid pale skin.  It took all my willpower to let him leave with his throat; NOBODY turns their back on an Alpha and lives to tell of it.  Very well, pale skin.  You live another day.
I turned my attention to the bowls.  Dry deer food and plain water.  Warm water to boot, and it tasted like salt.  Not for the first time did my thoughts wander to my home in the North Woods, with its plentiful herds and the clear cold water of the rivers.  From there, I couldn’t help myself.  I though about Tera, my mate.  How I longed to see her again, and to see how my pups fared.  Did they grow strong? 
...(to be continued, maybe)

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...and every time I see this message, it drives me bat-sh*t insane.  What's up with it?


And I apologize if this has been asked all ready.

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Author Craft / We Don't Exist
« on: October 01, 2009, 05:55:43 PM »
Wrote this short story for Writer's Guild.  We were to do a story or poem containing the words/phrases: Empty soda can, magnet, stuffed dog, book, something blue.  This is what I came up with.  Whatcha think?

We Don’t Exist
[/b]
It’s been three days since the target checked in to the hotel, and not one sighting worth a clean shot.  I popped open a can of cola as I sit and watch the hotel.  Nothing.  Grumbling, I got up and paced for a bit, before going back and checking the scope again.  Still nothing.  I hate waiting, but our orders were clear.  Command wanted a clean kill.  No witnesses, no collateral damage.  No excuses.  I returned to pacing, which caused my partner to look up from his book.

“Would you stop it all ready?  The shot will come, it always does.”

I glared at him, and he stared back.  I hate it when he does that.

“I wish the shot would come all ready, then.”

He returned to his book, supremely unconcerned.  “Patience.  We just have to wait.”

I started grumbling again as I resumed pacing.  “I hate waiting.”

That got a laugh out of him and he put the book away before picking up that stupid stuffed dog of his.  “Who’s a grumpy hit man?  Huh?”  Unbelievable.  He was pretending it could talk.  I drained my soda and threw the empty can at him.  He blocked it with the dog and laughed.  Jerk.  He taped a magnet to the dog and stuck it next to his bed.  He knew the thing annoyed me.  I think that’s why he kept it after we took out that Korean CEO.  I think it was a gift for his daughter.  I don’t really care either.

I checked the scope again, then did a double-take.  He was walking out the door of the hotel!  I didn’t know who this guy was, and I didn’t care.  All I knew was that he’d earned the wrath of my superiors.  I checked up and down the street.  Nobody.  Perfect.  I grabbed my rifle and opened the window.  Taking careful aim at his back, I pulled the trigger and sent a .30-06 round into his back, right through the heart.  Clean kill.  No witnesses.  Mission complete.

I laughed as his red blood spilled over his tailored blue suit.  My partner confirmed the kill, got the pictures, and set to packing.  While he got our few belongings together, I drenched the entire apartment in gasoline and alcohol and shoved a gas-soaked newspaper in the toaster.

My partner headed out the door and I started the toaster before closing the door and following.  No witnesses.  No evidence.  We don’t exist.

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Author Craft / Comments and ideas, please? Three stories.
« on: June 24, 2009, 01:49:34 PM »
So I started writing this, but I'm stuck.  What do you think so far and where should I go?  It's based on the game Jade Empire.




Chapter One
     Lo San stumbled and nearly fell as he fled after Kia Minh.  Tears stained the ground even after another student pulled him to his feet and shoved him ahead, tears of anguish at the thought of the friends and fellow students who lay dead and burning behind him.  More students fell and were slain by their pursuers even as they rushed for the safety of the woods surrounding the Two Rivers school.  He saw another student stumble before him and helped the girl regain her balance, even as Kia Minh called, "Hurry!  Make for the Marsh!  Go!"
     Lo San watched Kia Minh slow and fade to the back of the group of fleeing students, even as the squad of thugs caught up to them.  A student behind Lo San went down as the Captain stuck his spear out and tripped him, but a glance showed Kia Minh busy engaging three others.  With only a moment to think, Lo San hit the attacker with one of the powerful strikes of the Heavenly Wave style, then followed it up with a blinding kick to complete the Harmonic Combo.  As the captain exploded in a mass of blood, Lo San felt slightly rejuvenated, and felt a rush of triumph at the realization of what he had done.  He was only a novice with the Legendary Strike style, but he was still able to complete a Harmonic Combo with it.  The staff striking his hip brought him back to reality, celebration would have to wait.  He blocked another strike from the staff, then snapped a kick at the thug’s head.  The thug ducked under his kick and swept Lo San's feet out from under him, then leered at him through crooked teeth.  "Gao the Greater says no survivors, so that means I get to kill you."
     Lo San tensed and waited for the killing blow, but as the thug raised the staff over his head a spear point emerged from his chest.  Gaping at the blade, he let the staff fall from hands that suddenly no longer wanted to work.  He grasped at the blade, as if trying to pull out the weapon that killed him, as he slowly sank to his knees and fell over.  Behind the corpse of the thug, the student Lo San had saved slowly stood and tried to yank his spear from the body.  Suddenly Kia Minh was there, pulling the poor boy away from the corpse and yelling at another student to get Lo San and run.  As he surged to his feet, Lo San glanced back at a pile of seven corpses, two more dead students and the five mercenaries that paid the price for killing them.
___________________________________________________________ _
     The students continued to run, even after shaking off the last of the pursuit effort.  They weren't just running from the men trying to kill them, they were running from the memory of what had happened.  Finally, as the students around Kia Minh started to collapse, she called a halt.  While the students collected in a group Kia Minh did a head count.  Nineteen, from a school of nearly a hundred.  How are we going to get through this?  She shook her head.  It was going to be difficult, no question.  She saw one of the older students, Lo San, comfort the others surrounding him.  He'd done well today, accounting for one of the attackers and saving another student.  She stumbled over to him. 
     "San, you did very good today," she said.
     He looked up at her from bandaging a girl's arm, a questioning look on his face.  "I'm sorry, Kia Minh?"
     She half-smiled.  "You saved one of the other students from death and performed a Harmonic Combo.  You also placed the lives of others ahead of your own.  You were a hero today."
     Lo San just smiled, exhaustion etched in all his features.  "That wasn't heroics.  There was no time to think.  I saw an attacker and fought back."
     "It doesn't matter.  What you did was brave, Master Li would be proud of you."
     Suddenly Lo San's eyes filled with tears and Kia Minh felt as if a dagger had pierced her heart as she remembered why Lo San had to be brave.  She blinked back the tears, there would be time for grief later.  For now she had a responsibility to the students.
     "Do you feel up to sentry duty?" She asked him.
     "I'm dead on my feet, but if you need me to, I can."
     Kia Minh smiled again, in the vain hope that it would help cheer the students. 
     "Get some sleep, San.  I'll take first watch and wake you in four hours.  All of you, get some rest."  The last was to the rest of the students.  As the students one by one dropped off to sleep, Kia Minh leaned against a tree and rested her spear close to her hand.  Without moving, she waited and watched.
___________________________________________________________
Fire.  Screaming.  The smell of charred flesh as confusion reigned.  Smiling Mountain!  Find Smiling Mountain, he'll protect us!  Run!  Stumbling across the school to where Smiling Mountain sleeps, only to see the Martial Arts master treacherously cut down from behind while facing seven opponents.  Where are they coming from?  Gao!  He must have led them here!  Jing Wu's voice carries across the school, rallying the students.  Yes, that's it!  We're students of the Martial Arts, we'll fight back!  No, we can't.  There's too many!  Lin falls after cutting down two black-handed warriors.  Wen dies as three warriors bear down on him, hacking with their swords.  Jing Wu yells at us to run as he holds them off.  Where's the Senior Student?  Where's Dawn Star?  They'll protect us!  Dawn Star disappeared and the Senior Student went to find her.  They can't help us now.  There they are!  The Senior Student and Dawn Star tell us to follow Kia Minh.  Run!  Hurry!  Another student falls to the mercenaries that replace the Black-Handed Warriors.  The Senior Student told us to follow Kia Minh.  She'll lead us to safety.  We're in the Golden Delta, we're supposed to be safe!  Why is this happening?  Don't think, just run!  But why?  What did we do?  Falling again.  Wait, this didn't happen!  A mercenary stares down with an icy smile as he raises his sword...
     Lo San woke in a cold sweat, the previous day’s events still fresh in his mind.  He looked up at the sky to try and gauge the time and saw Kia Minh making her way over to him.  "Is it time for my watch?"
     "Your turn.  Be careful."
     "I"ll try."  Kia Minh took Lo San's place on the ground as Lo San made his way to the border of the group for his watch.  Pausing, he flipped up to the branches of a nearby tree and looked around.  Nobody and nothing but trees as far as he could see.  Dropping back to the ground, he looked around at the sleeping students and his mind flashed back to the day's events.  Suddenly the flood of questions came again.  Why did this happen?  Who were these people?  Why did they take Master Li?  What are we going to do?
     Gao the Greater says no survivors.  The words popped unbidden into his head.  Where had he heard those words before?  Lo San wracked his brain.  Where did the words come from?  The thug!  The mercenary said it before Tai Shen stabbed him.  Well, that answered one question, the mercenaries worked for Gao's father.  But who were the others?  Armored warriors with black-stained hands…and Wen dying with terror in his eyes.  Wen used to whisper about them from his time in the Imperial City, the Lotus Assassins.  It had to be.  But why?  And why did Master Li just go with them?  Why did he abandon us?  Questions would have to wait, something rustled the bushes nearby.  Cautiously making his way over, he pushed the greenery aside with his staff, then fell back in surprise and fear.

Chapter Two
     Lin and Wen looked back at Lo San, but as he started to call for help Lin flew forward and covered his mouth.  The cry died in his throat as the cold of her hand sunk into his face.  "Hush, San.  Don't say anything.  I don't want them to see me like this."
     Wen crept into the clearing and stood with Lin.  His face showed confusion.  "I don't understand.  We should feel the pull of the Shepherd, but I feel nothing.  What’s going on?"
     Lin shook her head.  "It's just like I'd been hearing.  The spirits of the dead can't pass on.  I'm fighting the madness, and I'm trying to keep Wen with me but he's slipping."
     Lo San just stared at them, speechless.  What was he supposed to say to ghosts?  Lin giggled at the look on his face, and that sound seemed to bring Wen back a little bit.  He looked around again, this time with less confusion in his eyes, and recognized Lo San.  "Hello San.  What happened to us?"

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