ParanetOnline
McAnally's (The Community Pub) => Author Craft => Topic started by: Mickey Finn on July 07, 2007, 10:22:29 PM
-
Ok, towards the begining of a novel I'm working on, my protagonist wakes up to find herself in a bodybag, in a transport truck. After getting out (nevermind how) of the back, I have these lines:
I looked down at myself, and I was wearing a rather smart black business suit, the white blouse marred by blood, cold but still fresh. The hole in the front didn’t help, either.
Wait, hole?
I probed the hole, then fumbled with the buttons…got two undone in the sticky , slippery mess, a third popping in my haste. Below, right above the joiner in my bra, was another hole. I’d been shot. It must have been small caliber, stopped by my breastbone, but there was no pain when I breathed, let alone when I prodded the wound. Why was there no pain?
Nevermind…first thing was to get out of here and let them know I was still among the living.
Now, I'm probably going to change that up to "Below, right where the cleavage would be if I actually had any, was another hole." It's more descriptive. But meanwhile, my girlfriend's comment was "Joiner? What's that? I don't know any women who would use that term."
So the question is...women...would you? That is the joiner.
-
Perhaps you should use clasp.
-
That would also be descriptive, as you can't be top-heavy and use a frontloader.
-
Not a woman but since your girl friend said she wouldn't use or know anyone who would use "joiner" what would she call it then?
"Cup connector" or "Bridge over the Valley of Wow" or just "the middle piece".
-
Clasp sounds good or manybe hook? I passed that and I am curious why she was in no pain?
-
Never heard it called a joiner. Would call it the clasp or hook if it's a front-hook bra. Or, just the space between the cups, the V, or the dip of the bra.
Don't know how I can work it into a conversation, because I haven't had need to reference it for the many years I've been wearing a bra, but now I'm going to have to find a way to refer to the joiner, just because I learned something new. ;)
...Valley of Wow...
ROFL, also new to me. Has got to be one of the best... whatever... ever. :D
-
How about the "center of the bra"? That's what I would say.
-
another vote for 'clasp.'
-
Not a woman but since your girl friend said she wouldn't use or know anyone who would use "joiner" what would she call it then?
"Cup connector" or "Bridge over the Valley of Wow" or just "the middle piece".
"The bit under serious strain."
She's abit ov...abit....well, she has large tracts of land. Her bras don't tend towards front clasps, for this reason.
Which is a bit of a waste on me, as I'm not really a breast man.
-
Joiner, never. Big busted can use front clasps. Like the lines.
-
Not in her size. They don't make them, apparently.
Hell, they don't make anything cute or teh sexeh. Good thing I actually like the sports bra look.
-
What about "elastic band" or just band or just elastic? Or right below the eyelet trim on my just-purchased "Insert fake brand name here" bra?
Just trying to get away from the t.v. forums. Dropping back into lurk status.
-
well it sounds interesting i would love to read it
*is desperate for something to read*
:D ;D :D ;D
-
I would use "hook" or "clasp", myself.
-
It'll be a while. I'm a short story author making the jump to novel...this is the first chapter.
Ok, correction from my girlfriend..."Well, I've found one or two front claps in my size, but honestly, it's like trying to wrestle two waterballoons with a paperclip."
I warned her I was quoting her.
-
...it's like trying to wrestle two waterballoons with a paperclip...
*snorting Mountain Dew through my nose*
-
Well, what if she wasn't wearing a bra? :P
Have you thought about 'Ask Bob'? I'm sure he could help. ::)
-
I would say "fastener".
-
Can't wait to hear the Bobs reply!
I wonder if it's a regional dialect thing. Here in the Midwest, I'm pretty sure we use hooks and they come front and back. I'm pretty sure that Fonsy in Happy Days was "unhooking" the bra in the boys restroom, wasn't he?
Make it easy and give her (if not an overly abundant chested woman) a camisole that she can easily pull downwards or lift up. :D
-
The character's an FBI agent, in an oxford-style blouse and black jacket.
My girlfriend's rather fond of corsets ;)
-
And if you post tomorrow, we'll know she let you live. ;D
-
In your dreams, no corset for FBI, she's be tossed before she hit the front door. Breasts don't exist on FBI or Secret Service. Just went to a Hillary & Bill rally---no evidence of any desire to be noticable as a woman except she was allowed to have her hair long and straight and not tied back (very Murphy like actually)! I'd go with a sports bra or the camisole..
I'm 50's woman with two adult kids. Didn't know it would bother me so much to see a young woman Secret Service agent non-stop scouting the crowd. I've seen the men all the time, but to see a young woman my daughter's age right by them both and to think she would take a bullet. Ah, it sent my heart into my throat.
I'm old enough to have toured the FBI headquarters in Washington DC (age 10 maybe) and after getting excited about how cool all this was, at the end of the tour they informed everyone that women were NOT accepted. Thank God that changed, but still to see someone's daughter out there in front of a crowd that wasn't prepped through any metal detectors, no background checks or anything.....
No way would I hold her back, but I wouldn't sleep well at night if my daughter signed up. :-\
-
Didn't know it would bother me so much to see a young woman Secret Service agent non-stop scouting the crowd. I've seen the men all the time, but to see a young woman my daughter's age right by them both and to think she would take a bullet. Ah, it sent my heart into my throat.
I'm old enough to have toured the FBI headquarters in Washington DC (age 10 maybe) and after getting excited about how cool all this was, at the end of the tour they informed everyone that women were NOT accepted. Thank God that changed, but still to see someone's daughter out there in front of a crowd that wasn't prepped through any metal detectors, no background checks or anything.....
No way would I hold her back, but I wouldn't sleep well at night if my daughter signed up. :-\
I fell the same about this as I do about the military, why would I be more frightened that my daughters would get hurt than I would if they were sons? The dangers aren't that much different. Are they? And dead is dead whichever sex you were.
I admit I wouldn't really be keen on my daughters joining MI5 or MI6, not that either of their careers seem to be going that way (as far as I can tell ;D). My eldest is a Civil Servant in Whitehall, and she did goto Cambridge which used to be the usual place to recruit spies. I don't think I'll ask her about though. She's deny it anyway. Right? ;) ;D
-
Clarification...my girlfriend is rather fond of corsets for herself.
Not said character.
-
If I read "fastener" in a bra description, I'd get a visual of the hooks and eyes in the back, so that's potentially confusing.
How about "right between the cups" (though this may be an inch low for you) or "just above the tiny satin ribbon" (even though most bras don't have these anymore) or "right above the center of my bra" (KIS)?
You could conduct a study in a lingerie department and possibly use "just above the LaPerla [or other brand] logo."
-
Clarification...my girlfriend is rather fond of corsets for herself.
Not said character.
This sounds like a perfect opportunity to visit the Galleria for some in depth research at Victoria's Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood.
-
Could just say "Shot dead center just above my bra" and let the reader visualize it.
But if you need a word I decided clasp sounds best to me. :D
-
Wait a minute.... shot just above her bra... ain't this lady dead already???? Last I knew that was a clean heart shot.
-
I think that's why they put her in a body bag it the first place. And now I'm curious what happens next.
-
Ahh dahh. The older I get the shorter my memory span. Sorry people of the thread.
-
I'm late to the party, but yeah, never heard of a joiner either. As someone who just spent an hour in the world's most incompetent Victoria's Secret, I feel the need to tell you that there are many, many options for the center of a bra. Bows. Little jewels. Clear plastic strips. And yeah, boring old regular fabric. Feel free to use any of those. :)
Of course, that being said, I giggle at the thought of my ATF agent friend wearing a bra with a jewel in the middle to work. She won't even wear a skirt when she has to dress up to go to court hearings.
-
I agree with 'clasp', if the bra joins in the front. Most bras join in the back, though.
Although if your character isn't exactly top heavy, something along the lines of 'flat as a board', maybe she doesn't wear one at all. I don't, unless the shirt is very sheer. But that might be too much info...lol
-
So did we help at all Mickey? :)
Hope that part came out your writing well.