My current fave is Felix Castor. His friends call him Fix. I like that.

Just remember to use the right bottle for the right product.
A friend told a story of one of her friends who decided to try to make champagne.
Only problem was that he hadn't realized that champagne bottles are built heavily for
a very basic reason - to contain the pressure, and he used ordinary wine bottles.
He'd put his bottles in the garage and he started hearing loud noises from the garage.
There was a side door and he looked in before opening the main door.
The pressure of the bubbles was literally blowing the bottom off the wine bottles and launching
them like glass rockets.
Wisely he just closed the door and went away until all the crashing noises stopped.

We had some blueberry mead go horribly wrong and two or three of the bottles popped their corks (synthetic too - if you know what a PITA those things are to get out normally you have a good idea of the pressure involved). We refrigerated them after that so the yeastie beasties would stop fermenting and ended up with some pretty good blueberry champagne out of it. Of course, you had to be VERY careful opening them!

Apparently I am full of fail, but could someone point me in the general direction of this chatroom?

I have a B.A. in English and a B.S. in Accounting. (I got my former employer to pay for the accounting degree - never let anyone tell you a liberal arts degree is a waste of time - apparently it qualifies you for a job in accounting. But my work history is the most random thing on the planet.)