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Author Craft / My latest pathetic attempt
« on: January 25, 2011, 05:18:06 AM »
Sometimes I strike gold, sometimes I crash and burn. Either way I'd like some feedback before I continue. What I was thinking was a true wolf is in captivity as a stray (part dog, hence the confusion), and while his brethren plan to free him he's "adopted" by a family of humans.
The cage rattled as someone worked the door. Another new guy, “feeding the wolf” like all the newcomers do. He was talking over his shoulder and carrying a set of dishes.
“Yea, I’ll deal with it when I’m done here,” he said, then turned to look at me. I fixed him with my most intense stare. Such a look would send cubs scurrying for their mothers and prey running in terror. He wasn’t even fazed, which made my all ready sour mood even worse. Instead, he gave me the once-over, looking me up and down. “Looks kind of like a wolf,” he finally said.
Well, maybe that’s because I AM kind of like a wolf! Idiot. I bared one of my fangs and snarled, hoping to scare him. Instead he snorted a laugh and said, “Nice growl, pooch.”
Pooch? Pooch! I am Akela! King of the Wolf Clans, Alpha of the North Pack, and Keeper of the Forest Song! This pale skin should have been cowering in fear of me, not treating me like some common RAT dog! I wanted to attack him, bear this fool to the ground and rip his throat out, tasting his life-blood on my tongue as he cried his last! But I was also no fool. I knew that if I tried, successful or not another pale-skin would come with his Sleeper’s Tube, and I would never wake up. The pale skins would send me to the Sky Forest before my time, so I stomached my rage and glared.
He set my bowls down and turned his back on me. Only a pale skin, I had to tell myself. He’s only a stupid pale skin. It took all my willpower to let him leave with his throat; NOBODY turns their back on an Alpha and lives to tell of it. Very well, pale skin. You live another day.
I turned my attention to the bowls. Dry deer food and plain water. Warm water to boot, and it tasted like salt. Not for the first time did my thoughts wander to my home in the North Woods, with its plentiful herds and the clear cold water of the rivers. From there, I couldn’t help myself. I though about Tera, my mate. How I longed to see her again, and to see how my pups fared. Did they grow strong?
...(to be continued, maybe)
The cage rattled as someone worked the door. Another new guy, “feeding the wolf” like all the newcomers do. He was talking over his shoulder and carrying a set of dishes.
“Yea, I’ll deal with it when I’m done here,” he said, then turned to look at me. I fixed him with my most intense stare. Such a look would send cubs scurrying for their mothers and prey running in terror. He wasn’t even fazed, which made my all ready sour mood even worse. Instead, he gave me the once-over, looking me up and down. “Looks kind of like a wolf,” he finally said.
Well, maybe that’s because I AM kind of like a wolf! Idiot. I bared one of my fangs and snarled, hoping to scare him. Instead he snorted a laugh and said, “Nice growl, pooch.”
Pooch? Pooch! I am Akela! King of the Wolf Clans, Alpha of the North Pack, and Keeper of the Forest Song! This pale skin should have been cowering in fear of me, not treating me like some common RAT dog! I wanted to attack him, bear this fool to the ground and rip his throat out, tasting his life-blood on my tongue as he cried his last! But I was also no fool. I knew that if I tried, successful or not another pale-skin would come with his Sleeper’s Tube, and I would never wake up. The pale skins would send me to the Sky Forest before my time, so I stomached my rage and glared.
He set my bowls down and turned his back on me. Only a pale skin, I had to tell myself. He’s only a stupid pale skin. It took all my willpower to let him leave with his throat; NOBODY turns their back on an Alpha and lives to tell of it. Very well, pale skin. You live another day.
I turned my attention to the bowls. Dry deer food and plain water. Warm water to boot, and it tasted like salt. Not for the first time did my thoughts wander to my home in the North Woods, with its plentiful herds and the clear cold water of the rivers. From there, I couldn’t help myself. I though about Tera, my mate. How I longed to see her again, and to see how my pups fared. Did they grow strong?
...(to be continued, maybe)