I am planing on writing a series called Adflictus Planis, and have finised the majority of the world's mechanics. I am still in the design phase- I haven't even begun book 1 yet, though I do have the plot lined out- I desperately need feedback on how my series' world works. A such, I would really appreciate it if you guys went to centurionsofrome.deviantart.com and give me some feedback, even if that only consists of "good job" or something similar.

EDIT: Heeding the advice of a poster, I have removed the teaser from this post. It can now be found here: http://centurionsofrome.deviantart.com/#/art/Adflictus-Planis-teaser-book-1-Herald-of-Change-383849728?_sid=3c6943a2
I have also edited the teaser upon the advise of The Deposed King, and would like further feedback please, either on my deviantart account or on this thread.