I'd miss Priscillie's Sig line... I love it!

I want one! Well, maybe not, cause then it wouldn't be so precious. It's Unique!

Gotta say, I concur. The ads are well done and not obtrustive in the least. One question... When the time comes, where're ya gonna put the Countdown Calendar now?

Send away, Meg...

Oh, and we're in the process of getting a site up and running expressly for this purpose. It'll be called Third Reader (don't have the url on me right now) and writer's who want constructive feedback are encouraged to submit their writing for critique.

I'll let you know more as I find out. in the mean time, send! Send! Send!

That's okay... then I can still aspire to doing the deed and creating a masterpiece! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ain't that truth!! 

I know more about Chicago gangsters and various assault weapons now than I'd ever thought I'd want to, and find myself watching Modern Marvels and the History Channel for research! LOL

I've hit a huge out flow of writing lately, but it's all on RPG.... so that begs the question... is it valid as "writing" or not?

Nah - I wouldn't agree that they suck. I think they're pretty good... much better than some of the drivel I hear recited at my biweekly writer's group, and those people are all grown ups!

They do need some editing, though, of course. But that's no big deal. Try to work on your "show me don't tell me" skills. You've got a really good start in this area already, but I noticed a couple of things like, "They were disgusting, that was the only word to describe it." Well, what's disgusting to you and what's disgusting to me might be two different things. Disgust me and let me realize for myself that they are disgusting.

This is toward the end of the second chapter,... "Mortals were idiots sometimes (I’m half idiot)." Awesome! I'd like to see that more at the front of the first chapter.

You've got GREAT action, an interesting scenario (although a little too close to JB for a JB fan to not think you're mimicking him), yet some interesting details that seperate you from him. Can't wait to see Mike get caught between a rock and a hard place when he's working a case during 'that time of the month' and has to stop and chain himself to the wall.

Ooo, you've also got a great voice for your protagonist, good personality, viable weaknesses, and a wonderful manner of describing the scene. This is talent that deserves honing.

Keep up the good work, it will only get better as you keep revising and smoothing it out.