Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do

[Hasufin]

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I will not sell my copy of The Two Towers as a holy relic.
a) Even though it is...

I will not go to a Best Buy and see how many electronic devices I can hex at once.
a) Okay, never again. No matter how funny.

[irshlas]

BEWARE: SmF spoilers in post!

I am no longer permitted to brandish both Fidelacchias and Amoracchias before the Merlin shouting, "Who's the real Merlin now, sucka?!"

  I just spit my tea all over my computer!!!!  LMAO!!! 

[Spectacular Sameth]

-I will not tell the Denarians that the devil made me do it.
a) or to anyone else for that matter.
b) especially not Michael.

[The Mrs Geek]

Neither am I allowed to refer to Luccio as "Captain Tightpants" in front of the trainees.

All I can think when I see these is of the several scenes in M.A.S.H. where Major Houlihan is refered to as "Hot Lips".

I am under NO circumstances allowed to refer to Luccio or Murphy as "Hot Lips"
a. no matter how hot the lip lock
b. because I like my shins
c. because I'd like the lip locks to continue!

[Spectacular Sameth]

-I will not insinuate that Murphy is the one who made the law.
a) and I will not blame her when something bad happens. (Because I like my shins.)

[molten_dragon]

Making an oversized novelty hand at a Chicago Bulls game is not an appropriate use for Soulfire.

[DwellerOnTheThreshold]

While I recognize the danger in speaking the names of beings of power I will stop referring to Mab as 'Scary Fairy'
 -Likewise I will stop referring to my godmother Lea as 'Harry's Fairy' and Titania as the 'Berry Fairy'.

I will not under any circumstance while in the presence of Michael refer to the Holy Trinity as 'the Dad, the Lad, and the Spook'.

I will not read through any book written by Tolkien looking for ideas for new spells.
 -Nor will I use Rowling.
 -Prachett is right out.

Having already ruled out 'bite me' and 'fuck me' as inappropriate comebacks to certain parties I will also be careful about who I say 'eat me' to.

[The Corvidian]

I will not attempt a "Warp Spasm" in the presence of the Erlking.

I will not attempt to build a motorcycle, with wheels of flame, again.

[Purpura]

Harry says this to my husband's uncle:
I promise never ever to unhinge Sue again

[scurv]

-I will not refer to Mouse as Lassie
a)or Billy for that matter
-I will not take Toot to baby GAP
-I will not recreate Godzilla movies using Little Chicago

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-When asked about Luccio, I will not say she blinded me with magic

-I will not ask the Gatekeeper if The Time Warp breaks the laws of magic
-I will stop using a Scottish accent when opening portals
a)nor shall I mention cake
-I will not use magic to change the names of places. Like changing Wrigley Field to Wiggly Field or the Sears Tower to the Roebuck Tower

[Spectacular Sameth]

-I did not attend Hogwarts, nor should I continue to claim I did.
a) And I should quit telling Molly that she missed the boat on it.

[The Corvidian]

I will never utter "Cower now brief mortals...", while attempting a vocal impersonation of Christopher Lee, wearing a long black cloak, and carrying a scythe, at Mac's.
a) Even if it was on Halloween.

[Purpura]

I will never recreate Pirate movies, or Jaws at the Shedd Aquarium.

[Vigor]

- I am not allowed to call the Merlin "Professor Dumbledore"

I certainly hope not.  If Harry did, I'm certain it would cause me to do a spit-take with whatever I was drinking, and ruin my book.

[Soulless Mystic5523]

I certainly hope not.  If Harry did, I'm certain it would cause me to do a spit-take with whatever I was drinking, and ruin my book.

You are obviously an amateur at reading The Dresden Files. Us pro's learned a long time ago to avoid food and liquids while reading just to prevent that from happening.