Things Harry Dresden Is No Longer Allowed to Do

[LordDresden]

On the other hand, if Mab wants him to pay off the last favor that way and arranges it (a threesome with Titania) herself, that's OK.

In that event, however, I am not allowed to rub Thomas' nose in it with jokes and comments.  I am an adult and the satisfaction to be gained by outdoing Thomas in that department is childish.  So no comments.  The look on his face as Mab and Titania emerge from my bedroom is sufficient.

[Thrasher]

I will not suggest that the new warden motto be "who watches the watchmen"

Nor I will not comment at the next White Council meeting "wizards should not be afraid of their White Council, the White Council should be afraid of their wizards".

I will not invite Alan Moore to any future White Council meetings to "knock some sense into them"

I will not nickname Cowl "Darth Hoodie".
- Nor will I call Ebenezar "Obi Wan McCoy"

I will not get Murphy to edit the wikipedia entry for "Wizard"
- Nor will I get her to create one for me and have it redirect to "Wizards"

[LordDresden]

In the event I find myself facing off against Kincaid, I am not allowed to yell, "Hey Kincaid, how about a nice Hawaiian punch!" just before I cut loose with all the rings at once.  A whispered 'aloha' is sufficient, and that way nobody else hears it.

I am not allowed to get upset if Murphy ever gets mad at me for never showing her that magic-shield trick that anyone can do that I showed Butters, I have it coming and will accept her anger in a mature way.  However, I am allowed to ring her up during dates with Luccio and accidentally mention my pants.

I am not allowed to sic Mouse on Detective Rudolph.  However, purely hypothetically, if Mouse were to wonder into Rudolph's house all on his own, and hypothetically, if Rudolph were to startle him...

[Blaze]

I am not allowed to sneak into the Coiffure Cup and pour Nair into the creme rinse bottles.
--unless I want Thomas living on my couch for eternity
--because he can hurt me. Bad.

[Raestlin]

I am not allowed to trick Detective Rudolph into going into the Couffeire Cup and ask for Thomas pronounced: Toe-moss


Nor shall I be allowed to walk in there and ask anyone if they've seen a bottle of hair remover that I accidentally dropped near the door and that I think someone working in the shop mistook it for shampoo........

[Wolfeyes]

I am not allowed to play the Darth Vader theme song whenever I enter the White Council, it gives people the wrong idea.
-Most of them probably wouldn't get it anyway.

[Homer]

One of the most gloriously bombastic songs EVER, and it's about you - wouldn't YOU have it on board?

If I had a helicopter that I was using for anything besides basic transportaion I'd be blaring it everywhere I went.

[Leo]

I am not allowed to practice ice magic on Molly's piercings.

[nanuq]

I am not allowed to trick Detective Rudolph into going into the Couffeire Cup and ask for Thomas pronounced: Toe-moss

Really, why not? 

[Tribblechomper]

I am not allowed to trick Detective Rudolph into going into the Couffeire Cup and ask for Thomas pronounced: Toe-moss

I dunno..."toe-moss" sounds like a description of improper cleanliness of the feet, like toejam

[Raestlin]

Really, why not? 

Because the customers in that shop would more than likely think Rudy was Thomas's new lover....

[LordDresden]

I am not allowed to practice ice magic on Molly's piercings.

Unless Charity asks me, in secret, to do so. 

I am not allowed to break the Fourth Law to convince Molly to dress like a human being.  Public mockery, on the other hand, is an acceptable tactic.

[Raestlin]

I am not allowed to ask Molly to hold a live wire  so that I will have Christmas lights in my house....

[LordDresden]

I am not allowed to hum the tune to "The Cleanup Woman" when I am in the same room with Murphy and Luccio.  That's just childish.  Kind of fun, but childish.  And it could get me killed.

[Raestlin]

I am not allowed to suggest that Captain Luccio get Botox, even though it would make her look realllly hot!