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Writers round table

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GWiz:

--- Quote from: Qualapec on February 29, 2008, 11:52:01 PM --- But it was gone in moments, he just flicked the had back down over his eyes and leaned against Debbie. It was a toss up whether it was to annoy me or because she provided a nice pillow.

--- End quote ---

   You know, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of fights that I’ve started. Not that I haven’t been in a lot of them, just that fighting hurts, and because I’m not really very good at it, fighting usually hurts ME. However, I was getting pretty sick of this run-around bullshit. Plus, I was tired of being the only one NOT in the loop. PLUS, I was pretty sure that Andre was goading me by using Debbie for a head rest.
Debbie I liked. Reza could still be useful, information-wise. But he of the perpetually annoying fedora? Didn’t know him, and I wasn’t in the mood to get cozy.
   “Andre,” I said, pulling the lightsaber out and lighting it off. “Say goodbye to yer hat rack, mister, ‘cause I’m save the hangman some work!”
        As I drew back to strike, several things happened at once. Debbie screamed “NOOOO!” and lunged for my legs. Reza also screamed “NOOOO!” and lunged her lovely chocolate body in between Andre and my blade, and Andre screamed “NOOOO!” (with a satisfying look of terror on his face, I might add) and cringed as far back into the corner of the chopper as he could.  Of course, all this action had some unintended consequences. Debbie succeeded in tackling me, and as I fell backwards, the lightsaber blade arced into the ceiling and generally made mechanical spaghetti of some Very Important Flight Controls. Of course, I smacked my head on the door behind me, which gained some ventilation, courtesy of the lightsaber. Debbie’s momentum carried her into the same door, which she bounced from and into the cockpit, creating somewhat of a critical control issue with the pilot, who was just coming to grips with a wounded aircraft.
Andre, in his haste to place distance between us, succeeded in popping the door on his side of the aircraft open, which created somewhat of a draft, and Reza? Out the door she went.
   I sat up, looked around, and turned off the lightsaber. So much for the way of the Jedi.

seradhe:

--- Quote from: GWiz on March 01, 2008, 03:21:18 AM ---   I sat up, looked around, and turned off the lightsaber. So much for the way of the Jedi.


--- End quote ---

    Andre managed to tug his side door shut, looking at me like one would look at a crazy man (which, given the consequences, might be appropriate). "what in the high courtiers name do you think you're doing!?" he screamed over the roar of wind. surprisingly, even in the maelstrom of the broken blades and speeding wind, his hat stayed perfectly on his head. "I may be dead already, but not by some scrawny earth boy!"
    Debbie stumbled from the cockpit, rubbing her head and looking around "where's Reza?" she asked in a slightly dazed voice. I could only gape. I mean, how does a guy tell his ex-girlfriend that his lawyer-guardian-guide-type-person had fallen out of the halicopter due to one brash move. Several small croaks left my throat as I attempted such a feat.
    Luckily, I didn't have to say anything, because the next thing we new the pilot pushed his way past Debbie and turned to look at us all. "She's left the 'copter, and if you want to live, I suggest the same." he said, clinging to the open doors edge with two arms as a third buckled a parachute on. Before any of us could say anything he was gone, already a speck against the rapidly approaching trees. Further below, I could see a smaller point, Reza, falling fast.
    I had no clue what I was thinking (which seems to be a common theme with me). BUt I found myself Grabbing Debbie by her wrist and Andre by his hat. "c'mon" I said, voice cracking ha;fway through the manly growl.
    And I did the obvious next dumb thing... I jumped.

Qualapec:

--- Quote ---And I did the obvious next dumb thing... I jumped.
--- End quote ---

What was I thinking? Right about then I didn't know. Perhaps it was as if some external force was controlling my actions. More likely it was because Andre's semi-insanity had worn off on me. The first step off the aircraft brought with it the thought that I may very well have lost my marbles. Too many birds had landed on my antenna. My Happy Meal was short of fries.

Whatever illusions I might have had of being able to hold on to Debbie or Andre disapeared quickly. I lost control over my body as I spiraled to the multi-colored oblivion beneath me. I don't know what it was, but the wind ripped them from my hands, my white knuckled grip suddenly found nothing to hold on to. Around and around I spun as I seemed to constantly leave behind my internal organs. My brain was being smushed against the back of my skull by cyntrifical force.

I really needed a parachute right then.

My progress was suddenly halted by a harsh harness that seemed to have wrapped iteself around my torso (and a particularly painful wraparound in my groin area, brought to my attention by the sudden harsh stop. I don't know what happened after that, my mind and eyes went dark.

I dreampt about a playground. From way back when I was a little kid. When all I was concerned about was getting that girl with the pretty ponytail to notice me by jumping off the swing when it was at its highest point. So I swung on the swing, back and forth, back and forth. Trying to get to that point by pumping my legs and pushing with the two downward forces in order to survive the upward climb. Above me the swing chains squeaked against the swingset.

These thoughts eased the transition to my very pain filled waking life. Only I wasn't in a playground. The girl I was trying to impress was nowhere in sight. And I was not on the swingset. I was dangling from parachute cords that had gotten tangled up in the branches above me. There was creaking, only it wasn't the squeak of metal on metal. More like the strain of cords or branches that were threatening to break and drop me the rest of the 15 or 20 feet between me and solid ground.

"You're one stupid son of a bitch aren't you?" The mocking tone came from the branches above me. Andre. How had he survived?

My heart lurched. Had Debbie survived? "Where's Debbie?" I slurred up at him.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. But she's probably around. We have serious skills instead of just luck."

I blinked up at him, only one eye responded, the other was so swollen that it wouldn't move, "How the heck did your hat manage to stay on through all of that?" I figured my observational skills were rather good considering what I'd just been through.

"Enchantment," He replied, "I have half a mind to leave you there."

"Then why don't you?" I let my head loll back downward, tired of craning my neck to look up at him.

"Mostly because I'm unarmed, and this forest really isn't that friendly. Unless you consider a close quarters night was a giant vampiric leech friendly."

"Hell," I said back, "Maybe that would take care of the stupid virgin requirement. Cummon, man. Help me out."

He grinned a crocodelian smile, "Fine, oh ye of little thought." He pulled out a small knife, and within moments sliced the ropes that held me up."

GWiz:

--- Quote from: Qualapec on March 01, 2008, 08:02:31 AM ---He grinned a crocodelian smile, "Fine, oh ye of little thought." He pulled out a small knife, and within moments sliced the ropes that held me up."

--- End quote ---

   I started to mention something about the drop, but the malicious grin on Andre’s face stopped me. I suppose that since I did try to kill him, he was probably exacting a little revenge, and probably less than what I deserve. Which did not lessen the severity with which I cussed him out when the glutes hit the mud. It hurt like hell. I was furiously rubbing the sting out of my behind when Andre glided down from his perch and made a perfect landing next to me.
   “Thanks,” I said.
   “It was the least I could do after you destroyed our transportation, lost our companions, and lost the damn Key!”
   “The Key? What key? I don’t know jack about a key?” Once again, Andre had displayed a real talent for pissing me off.
   Right then, I felt tremendous pressure on my shoulders. I was spun around and Andre was suddenly in my face, so close that I was under the brim of his hat. His green eyes were suddenly glowing with an eerie orange light. In a very quiet, very scary voice he said, “The lightsaber IS THE KEY, you dolt!”
   I squirmed against his grip, until I realized that he wasn’t touching me. At all. “Oooookay. Sorry. Nobody told me! I’m a little out of my league here and no…”
   “A little out of your league,” he sneered. “A little….boy, you have NO idea how out of your league you truly are.” The unseen force gripping me by the shoulders forced me away from Andre, and deposited me once again ass first in the mud. Crap, I thought, I’m ruining the tissue passing for my pants. I stood up and made a futile attempt to brush myself off as Andre pulled his hat down over his now normal eyes again and crossed his arms over his chest; I was sure he was glaring at me with contempt. So without a word, I turned and marched into the forest, looking for signs of the broken chopper, Debbie, Reza, or the lightsaber, and not necessarily in that order. All the while I was wondering: If Andre could manipulate me physically, levitate, and do some generally cool magic stuff, why the hell was he so scared when I was gonna chop his head off? The lightsaber was indeed a formidable weapon, but I’m not exactly Luke Freakin’ Skywalker with the damn thing, and unless Andre’s instincts for self-preservation were astronomically slow, and I didn’t think they were, he should have been able to put up SOME sort of defense, shouldn’t he? Then again, maybe not.

meg_evonne:
"I’m not exactly Luke Freakin’ Skywalker with the damn thing, and unless Andre’s instincts for self-preservation were astronomically slow, and I didn’t think they were, he should have been able to put up SOME sort of defense, shouldn’t he? Then again, maybe not."   Again I forget to post the last line.   BTW--do we have a title  Virgin King of the Universe?   ;D


I heard Andre following me in the brush, neither of us was very stealthy but in this jungle that probably wasn't possible.  We hadn't gone far when I felt my heart try to yank itself out of me through my back.  Angry I turned on Andre behind me.

"Stop it!" Now my heart was being yanked out of my chest.  It hurt, a lot.

"Stop what?" Andre replied and actually had the audacity to look innocent.

Another yank and I was pulled past him.  This time it hurt bad enough that I fell to my knees.  Something was dripping from my nose.  I reached up and touched it.  When I pulled it away my hand was covered in blood.  Another yank pulled me a good 20 feet through the underbrush of the jungle. That time I didn't even try to stand up and I collapsed into the ferns at my feet.  My body felt like it was winched in a giant's Indian rope burn and thought my eyes were going to pop out.

I heard was Andre racing through the underbrush to me.  He leaned over me looking concerned.  Something sort of wrapped me up, like I was inside a web cocoon.  The pain abated slightly, my heart was still crushing against my chest.  Andre must have picked me up in his arms because I no longer felt the dirt beneath me.  In fact I didn't hear the underbrush sounds either, even though we were moving fast, almost like flying.  Every so often I would groan and I thought Andre changed direction until my groans indicated the pain was less. 

Then, well frankly, I fainted and the pain did stop.  At least I hoped I fainted, as I slipped into unconsciousness I had the unpleasant thought that maybe I was dying.  'Great' twice in one day.  That's probably a record.

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