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Who will hurt more emotionally for Harry?

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Cats_are_evil:
Jim is full steam ahead writing 12 months which got me thinking. Who would cause Harry the biggest emotional punch, Susan or Murphy? Because we all know how much Harry's life is one big punching bag for life.
1. Susan. Let's be honest, the bad moments involving her are heart wrenching. I mean at the end he had to kill her. Plus every day he sees their child. How much time was pent looking for a cure?
2. Murphy. It most likely will still be fairly recent that it happened. There's a long history before they even started dating. He knows her murderer is running free.

 

LaraBeck:

--- Quote from: Cats_are_evil on November 14, 2025, 08:38:00 PM ---Jim is full steam ahead writing 12 months which got me thinking. Who would cause Harry the biggest emotional punch, Susan or Murphy? Because we all know how much Harry's life is one big punching bag for life.
1. Susan. Let's be honest, the bad moments involving her are heart wrenching. I mean at the end he had to kill her. Plus every day he sees their child. How much time was pent looking for a cure?
2. Murphy. It most likely will still be fairly recent that it happened. There's a long history before they even started dating. He knows her murderer is running free.

--- End quote ---

Did you read Little Things, The Law or the first chapter of Twelve Months? Because the answer is right there. It's Murphy, for whatever reason you want to attribute to it, but that's how things are going for Harry right now, we've never seen him in such pain, not even with Susan.

IMO, it's pretty simple why, from Susan's death he got to save his child, and Susan knew what was happening, from Murphy's death he's won exactly nothing, there's nothing that could counterbalance the loss. And that's a 20 year (in-universe) relationship that supported him through a lot, I mean, even when Murphy doubted him and sure, they had their rough moments, but everything built to her being an integral part of his support system, at the end she was (maybe wrongfully) his ride or die. So, that kind of thing leaves a hole like the grand canyon in your life.

Mira:

--- Quote ---Did you read Little Things, The Law or the first chapter of Twelve Months? Because the answer is right there. It's Murphy, for whatever reason you want to attribute to it, but that's how things are going for Harry right now, we've never seen him in such pain, not even with Susan.
--- End quote ---

I think it's a bit more complicated than that for a number of reasons.  Harry had just witnessed Murphy's violent death and he was very much in love and involved with her at the time.  The wound is fresh from her death, and Harry is also physically weak from his wounds, plus the emotional and mental strain he has been under.  Harry is deep in the process of mourning for Murphy.  In the case of Susan, Harry actually did his mourning for her when she still was alive.  After she was half turned and left him he went into a deep depression and almost drove himself mad trying to find a cure for her.  By the time of Changes, he had gotten past that for the most part, when she fully turned she was no longer Susan, it was a mercy in one sense, and it saved his child, himself and his grandfather.  Remember shortly after that happened Harry was shot and was in a coma for a few months with his soul doing a walk about because Uriel wanted to teach him a lesson.  In that time period Harry wasn't exactly in any shape to mourn Susan.  Then when he returned he refused to see his child for some time out of guilt because he had killed her mother.  Guilt in this case is another aspect of grief, Harry took all the guilt upon himself.  Superficially he is right, he did goad her into turning and cut her throat, but in truth Susan bares a lot of that responsibility herself, from the moment she stole the invitation  to that party and forged it in spite of Harry's warnings that she in over her head and she ended up half turned.  So one pain greater than the other?  I don't think they can be equated nor one seen as more than the other, they are different, but pain is pain.

Cats_are_evil:
See, here's the thing. What if the mirror mirror version of Susan was a simple homemaker with kids. She than offers Harry a chance to just give up and have a storybook life. No monsters. No courts. A family life that he could raise his daughter. He'd be free of the winter knight contract. Think how painful it would be to turn that down. Remember in Summer Knight I think when the summer lady gave him a brief moment free from his pain. Think how much more pain he's in now. That's why I think the Susan one will be harder. Because he KNOWS Murphy will hurt to see.

Mira:

--- Quote from: Cats_are_evil on November 15, 2025, 07:28:56 AM ---See, here's the thing. What if the mirror mirror version of Susan was a simple homemaker with kids. She than offers Harry a chance to just give up and have a storybook life. No monsters. No courts. A family life that he could raise his daughter. He'd be free of the winter knight contract. Think how painful it would be to turn that down. Remember in Summer Knight I think when the summer lady gave him a brief moment free from his pain. Think how much more pain he's in now. That's why I think the Susan one will be harder. Because he KNOWS Murphy will hurt to see.

--- End quote ---

I don't think you can quantify which pain is greater, it's only different.  By the time we see Susan in Changes, Harry has already mourned for her, he has just begun the process for Murphy, and he may never fully get over it.  Also with Susan, he has little Maggie now, that takes some of the pain away, with Murphy he is only left with memories.

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