McAnally's (The Community Pub) > The Bar
Weird? Pretty much.
Fcrate:
Well, when we were kids, it was expected that the youngest do the menial chores, and each of us had their turn (I'm the youngest). Like grocery shopping, vacuuming and stuff. My only sister (the eldest) did the cooking when my mother was occupied, and we did the support work (chopping vegetables, peeling, washing, making salad, etc) and it wasn't a problem. We're 4 brothers and a sister, so there was enough of us. Early morning tea was made by whoever woke up first, but anything that's not regular, you're supposed to do it yourself (or wheedle someone into doing it for you). Extra coffee, tea, juice, snacks and the like. It's not a problem for any of us to make coffee for the others, but with strangers, if someone asks me to make tea, or grab him something I just say: Your legs work. Save the favors for when you're crippled. Never had a problem saying no. It's probably because we were raised to do everything for ourselves, and it always surprises me when others won't do the same.
Dina:
At work, we more or less alternate, is not really a problem. I am guilty of asking someone to do coffee for us, but only when I was doing something more urgent and the other person has some free time, and I always offer to make coffee when I am the one that is free. I also have no problem serving coffee to everyone, no matter if it is my boss or the youngest recent graduate but it is something I offer, they do not ask me for it.
Fcrate:
--- Quote from: Dina on June 17, 2022, 11:46:33 PM ---but it is something I offer, they do not ask me for it.
--- End quote ---
Exactly. You're the one who's offering. Big difference :) Problem is, if you offer too often, almost everyone, even the most well-intentioned of people will take advantage of you to some degree or another.
Internal monologue will be like: "Oh, I'd like some coffee, but wait a few minutes, Dina will probably make some in a few minutes, and she'll offer to make me a cup."
Regenbogen:
--- Quote from: Fcrate on June 18, 2022, 06:29:05 AM ---Exactly. You're the one who's offering. Big difference :) Problem is, if you offer too often, almost everyone, even the most well-intentioned of people will take advantage of you to some degree or another.
Internal monologue will be like: "Oh, I'd like some coffee, but wait a few minutes, Dina will probably make some in a few minutes, and she'll offer to make me a cup."
--- End quote ---
Yes, that's it. People taking advantage if your kindness. And there are some, who try to go further and ask you to do it.
The woman I was talking about, does that often. Not only to me, but in lots of situations. If someone offers to do something she almost always asks for more.
But there are many others, too, who return favours.
Once I asked her, why she doesn't make the coffee herself, because if I don't do it, there simply is no coffee.***shrugs***
She answered that my coffee is one of the best ;) and she doesn't like the coffee she is making herself.
LOL. Somehow I like her, she always says exactly what she thinks. Sometimes it can hurt, but one always knows, she is telling the truth. And most important: she doesn't mind if you say no or talk back. So I'm not mad at her or something. She's not one of the assholes, just knows what she wants and is not shy to ask for it.
There are others, who do it on purpose to take advantage of others.
I always try to treat others exactly like I want to be treated myself, no matter who or what they are, or if I like them or not.
But if someone pisses me off at work for example, I don't do things to them on purpose, but I start to do only what I must and no more extra stuff
Dina:
--- Quote from: Fcrate on June 18, 2022, 06:29:05 AM ---Exactly. You're the one who's offering. Big difference :) Problem is, if you offer too often, almost everyone, even the most well-intentioned of people will take advantage of you to some degree or another.
Internal monologue will be like: "Oh, I'd like some coffee, but wait a few minutes, Dina will probably make some in a few minutes, and she'll offer to make me a cup."
--- End quote ---
That may be true, but my coworkers are good people and they often do that themselves. Even my boss sometimes offers and make it himself. So it is really not a problem. Also, one of my coworkers makes it too strong, so sometimes I offer myself before she does, because I like mine better. :)
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