McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Writer's Peeves
Shecky:
Proper answers to these questions:
Q: How many pages will your book be?
A: Just enough to fit between the covers.
Q: No, really, how long will it be?
A: All the way from the beginning to the end.
Q: GRR. Okay then, when will you be done?
A: That's easy! After I've finished all the writing!
Q: FINE. Why are you wasting all this time writing it?
A: Altruism.
Q: Uhh... what?
A: Altruism. I'm doing it for YOU so that you'd have SOMETHING to ask about when you got nosy.
Utterly off-topic: how many people think there should be a loophole in the violent-crimes laws for you when people insist on talking to you when you're sitting/standing there obviously enjoying reading?
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
--- Quote from: blgarver on November 05, 2007, 06:08:01 PM ---I wish sex was a necessary plot element in the story of my life...
--- End quote ---
Probably not the way I write it.
Or rather, when I think of sex as Necessary Plot Element, I think something like the following [ example from one of my WiPs. ]
Character A is a charismatic leader, somewhere between a political and a cult situation. Character B, our protagonist and viewpoint character, is a member of character A's group. Character B is loyal to this group on the grounds of shared ideals. Something happens that leads character A to misguidedly doubt character B's commitment. Character A sets circumstances up to end up in bed with character B on the grounds that this has previously worked to shore up personal attachment to character A's cause. Character B, while appreciating the interaction, feels somewhat disrespected, as character B's loyalty to the ideals of the organisation has never in fact been in doubt; this starts the process of disillusioning character B from that organisation.
That particular dynamic needs the sex scene in to work at the right levels. Whereas an entirely different bunch of characters in a different story who are running around together, figuring out the plot and staying ahead of the villains, might be having lots of nice friendly sex for purposes of mutual comfort, enjoyment and keeping their spirits up, but that's not to my mind something that needs to be onstage, they could equally well be playing Scrabble for the desired result on the story. [ Though probably collaborating to get cool words and/or high-scores rather than being competitively cut-throat. ]
--- Quote ---I don't think I've ever written a sex scene. I'm pretty paranoid about those, because they always come out sounding all cheesy and soap-opera-ish. None of my stories really call for a sex scene, anyway, so I guess I don't have to worry about it.
--- End quote ---
They are distinctly difficult in the matter of vocabulary alone; if one doesn't want to be crude or clinical, or use indirect metaphors which can all too easily come out like tacky porn cliches, every sentence is a headache.
--- Quote ---I think the "What's your story about" question puts a stitch in my craw because I don't think the layperson distinguishes "what happens" from "what's your story about." Or, in other words, "plot" from "story/theme."
--- End quote ---
Knowing what the theme of a story is before I finish it is another one of those things I don't really do.
meg_evonne:
On the other hand, if you really want to have a riot with fellow writer's assign each other a sex scene, improbable or not and then have lots of beer on hands for the official reading. Actually you can get pretty good at it, if you have the right attitude heading in. As neurovore writes--if it fits into the story and furthers the plot, it's a lot easier because you come into it with the characters already clarified and you know how they will react. Sex tells a h*** of a lot about a character and their motivations.
edited bcause I wanted to tell Shecky that I loved your responses and on your off topic subject, I agree 200%!!!
SunPhoenix:
--- Quote from: blgarver on November 05, 2007, 02:01:14 PM ---People ask that one sometimes too. "When will your book be published?" To which I can only respond, "Probably never."
And then the conversation inevitably moves on to why I'm wasting my time if I'll probably never make money on it.
Damn people.
I also think it irks me because I have to answer "How many pages" and the other common ones so many times. I'm just tired of having to repeat myself.
I'm not much of a people person, if you couldn't tell. :)
--- End quote ---
I always think its funny when people ask why do something when theres no point to it when most likely most of what people do for fun makes no profit in the long run.
blgarver:
--- Quote from: SunPhoenix on November 05, 2007, 09:50:46 PM ---I always think its funny when people ask why do something when theres no point to it when most likely most of what people do for fun makes no profit in the long run.
--- End quote ---
Exactly. People piss me off.
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