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Shall I Compare Thee To A Mooseburger aka The Bad Poetry Thread

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Blaze:
LOL  Poultry.  Hrm...

Mehmeht wanted for a wife,
To help him with the farm,
To bear him sons, share his life
and fill his life with charm.

Aya was sweet and lithe
The youngest girl of ten,
Her parents owed the yearly tithe
To tax collecting men.

Mehmeht said, "I'll barter
for your daughter's hand
Ten chickens is my starter
offering, these hens are grand."

Aya's parents pondered
Aya's family thought
Aya's eyes had wandered
at the farmer as they aught.

Om Aya said, "never shall I
Sell my daughter short."
Abba Aya said, "there's a guy
Offering more at port."

Mehmet said, "then a dozen.
A dozen laying hens
And a peacock from my cousin
And a goose who defends.

"The gander is protective
The peacock is selective
The hens are procreative
May I have her for my Mate-ive?"

Aya then got married,
Started a new life,
She found life quite harried
And she felt the strife.

"Mehmeht, undervalues me."
So she told her Mum.
"How else could it ever be?
"He got you for a poultry sum."

Ms Duck:
AWESOME

Ms Duck:

Once upon a rosy dawn
walked a naive duck chick
met upon a bragging swan
claimed he a mighty prick

"I was Leda's lust
she swoon neath my wing
I tasted virgins bust
sampled Ganymedes ring

I comforted fair Isodole
when the Lance was lost
she screamed on my pole
just like old man Faust

a legend is my mighty wand
no need to get tackey
been mentioned far and yond
even in Mercedes Lackey

It was I taught Anita Blake
to forget wolf and vamp
for my mighty members sake
shes no longer a tramp

So what say you
cute little missy duck
never will she rue
who tries me for a f_ck"

the little duck thought long
the little duck thought hard
would it be so truly wrong
to have a quick roll in yard ?

the duck spake "No, Dove
your brags are  but a test
after all those other loves
youve got herpes, at best "

Blaze:
*Stomps and whistles*  Hooray!

Blaze:
I really know Poultry
My knowledge is quite deep
I can pluck and clean  them,
Almost in my sleep.

I can do six and hour,
Six and maybe more
Depending on the weather
the feathers and the gore.

I really know poultry,
Such knowledge do I keep
That I can tell a rooster
Even as a peep.

It's all in the wing feathers
Don't you laugh, it's true
Go ask a chicken sexer
That's what he will tell you.

I really know Poultry,
they come in shades (like gray)
they lay eggs like crazy
One each every day.

Chickens need no rooster
To pump out eggs most hale;
Only if its hatchlings
you want you need a male.

I really know poultry
With names like Araucana
Barnevelder, and  Crevecoeur,
Dominiker, Faverolles , Havana,

Jersey Giant and LeFleche
Minorca and New Hampshire,
Or Orpington, Penedesenca,
And the Redcap  Derbyshire.

I really know my Poultry,
and chicken love is swift,
Slam bam comes the rooster
then leaves the hens all miffed.

No stately peacock dances
No courtly crane cavorts
Their hit and run romances
End with partners out of sorts.

I really know my poultry
My parents had a farm,
I gathered eggs on weekends
It had a sort of charm.

I got to know the chickens,
They're cannibals, you see?
So I didn't mind when time came
To make them fricassee.

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