First thing I would do is start with friends and people you know. Ask them to read it and see what they think of it. Be careful of anything you have to pay money for, as there are a lot of rip-off artist out there.
Craig
Good advice, but it isn't my manuscript I'm talking about. It was written by an acquaintance of mine, and I'm the person he knows that's reviewing it. I told him that I'd relay the issue to my forum people.
He wants to shop for agents, but he wants to have it reviewed by someone who has the technical know-how to preempt a lot of the critiques that a bona fide agent or editor will point out, anyway. It might might make the difference between a rejection and a sale. I read the thing myself, and I think it's publishable.
I gave him my feedback, but I'm not an authority. JB's Livejournal actually moved me to pick up a few books by Jack Bickham (Bickham taught Debbie Chester and Chester taught Jim Butcher at the University of Oklahoma), and I just kind of parroted the information in the LJ and Bickham's manuals (I think I have some practical knowledge on how to apply these lessons to actual copy).
----
In response to the warning against snake oil peddlers, I was wondering if anyone here knows someone who has a good track record. He wants a thorough analysis, and he's willing to pay for it.
Our thinking is that it's better to pay someone to clear up issues early rather than wait for the person the future of your novel depends on doing it themselves. Besides, people tend to take the path of least resistance. The premise that an agent who can push a novel that needs little cleaning up will be inclined to put in extra effort selling it is a cogent one.
^This.
Also, if you ask the right grammar nazis then you're on to a winner.
Grammar is important, but that's a secondary concern to actual substance (story question, PoV, S&R, verisimilitude, character introduction/development/interaction, scenes, sequels,
conflict, etc.). I have an intuitive sense of proper grammar. I'm by no means an expert, but I think my feedback on that subject is worth listening to. I have to say that aside from the typos, small grammatical mistakes, and the departures from certain conventions widely employed by mainstream authors, the grammar itself is serviceable. Stylistically, there are ways he can word sentences to make the text better understood, but those things are easy fixes.