McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Daily Recommended Allowance for Dialogue in First Person Narratives.

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The Deposed King:

--- Quote from: Shecky on August 03, 2012, 01:07:38 PM ---From what I've seen in well-written stories, the dividing line is defined by a couple of things:

1) Is what was said not more important than how it was said?
2) Are real-time actions/reactions important to later developments? (Honestly, this can go both ways, unless the actual words used by characters turn out to be important later, and even that can be handled with a summary that includes quasi-excerpts of the dialogue.)
3) Which way will have the greatest impact on the reader? (If it's simple information-gathering, a summary is fine, but if there are bombs dropped, especially in an attention-getting, dramatic fashion, the blow-by-blow dialogue works.)

Basically, it seems to boil down to a question of the unusual/significant/story-advancing, with a side dish of setting up the reader (subtly or less so) for later developments.

--- End quote ---

Right.  I guess in my previous post I didn't clarify.  Dialogue or action, either works, and by action it doesn't have to be combat, but moving the pieces in a dramatic or soon to be dramatic fashion.

I was thinking more, we went through hyperspace and hit something, everyone was concerned and the helmsman screamed, while the first officer proceeded to investigate the situation, versus as the ship drove through hyperspace, there was a thud.  'what the hades!' screamed the Helmsman grabbing the controls and holding on for dear life.  A moment later he looked around sheepishly as the ship failed to implode.  'Report," snapped the First Officer.  "Nothing on Sensors, sir!' and so on and so forth.

Too much of the first and you need to insert some action or dialogue.  That's kind of where I was coming up with my 3 paragraph thumb note.


always follow the dream,


The Deposed King

OZ:
I usually go with the idea that if you're not sure whether it's too much, go ahead and include it in the rough draft. When the first draft is finished and you're rewriting you should have a better idea of whether it's needed or not. If it's not then trim it down or eliminate it altogether. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it's too much if you haven't finished the story yet.

The Deposed King:

--- Quote from: OZ on August 06, 2012, 05:40:36 AM ---I usually go with the idea that if you're not sure whether it's too much, go ahead and include it in the rough draft. When the first draft is finished and you're rewriting you should have a better idea of whether it's needed or not. If it's not then trim it down or eliminate it altogether. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it's too much if you haven't finished the story yet.

--- End quote ---


Very true.


The Deposed King

the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:

--- Quote from: Shecky on August 03, 2012, 01:07:38 PM ---From what I've seen in well-written stories, the dividing line is defined by a couple of things:
1) Is what was said not more important than how it was said?

--- End quote ---

To my mind, every time anybody says anything, it's an opportunity for characterisation. 

Quoting dialogue verbatim is a characterisation opportunity for all the characters talking.  Reporting dialogue can be an opportunity for characterisation of your narrator, and also of how your narrator sees the other characters, but they are somewhat different things - Fred the narrator saying "George delivered his usual idiotic rant about the dangers of hyperspace" doesn't tell the reader whether George actually is an idiot or whether Fred just doesn't like him and is being unfairly dismissive.

For me it's usually possible to work out which bits want to be narrative and which dialogue by a combination of three things; what additional information can be conveyed each way, as indicated above; what you want your pacing to be like at the time - sometimes a summary moves faster, sometimes you want to use the conversation itself for precision timing, sometimes you want a reflective breather after an action sequence - and the general principle that the more things a scene can do the better the book will be.

(Realising what I want the pacing to be like at the time often does not show up clearly until I am reading through a complete draft, though.  There's only so well you can judge how chapter 7 works for flow and pacing when all you have written is chapters 1 to 8, and some of that could read quite differently when you have all 36 chapters done.)

meg_evonne:
I'd say whatever feels right as you read it out loud.

Here's a cool way to track it though.  Take your manuscript and high light all dialog one color. Then using another color highlight your narrative. Personally, I'd also highlight another color on action and high tension scenes because they help break up the flow considerably.

Then shrink your manuscript down, down, down. You'll get a visual check of what is what and how much each is. If you see tons of one color, better break it up. You might not have as much dialog as you think or you haven't spread it out.

This technique has proven invaluable for me. Let me know if you give it a try and what you find out by doing so.

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