McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Conveying a Lull in Convo
blgarver:
It's been forever since I've been on the forum, so...hey guys. Glad to be back.
The topic at hand is this: an awkward lull in a conversation between two characters.
In the scene I'm working on, the MC and his love interest (at least for now) are walking together back to town. He tries to make conversation and says something stupid, bla bla bla. Kind of typical young love sort of dynamic.
Is there a better technique to convey the awkward lull after the MC's lame comment other than "And then there was an awkward lull."? I really don't like to Tell when I can avoid it. Is it too heavy-handed to go into the MC's head for some observational World Building as he flails inwardly? Because that's where my instinct keeps leading me.
Any input is appreciated...I'm gonna stare at the white space and dose myself with coffee until I can get through this part.
Thanks!
BLG
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
--- Quote from: blgarver on June 17, 2012, 02:29:31 PM ---Is there a better technique to convey the awkward lull after the MC's lame comment other than "And then there was an awkward lull."? I really don't like to Tell when I can avoid it. Is it too heavy-handed to go into the MC's head for some observational World Building as he flails inwardly?
--- End quote ---
Nope; go inside his head and stick with his thoughts and observations until the conversation begins again is how I would proceed there, too.
(Extra points if you figure out how long it will be, walk the appropriate distance, and fit the conversation and thought processes accurately into that time.)
Enchantedwater:
The silence stretched between them as he wished despretly to take back the words that had flown from his mouth so casually. He could see how they hurt her but it was the truth and he had to be truthful with her. He had to be.
^^^^^^^^ EXAMPLE^^^^^^^^^^^^^
blgarver:
--- Quote from: the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh on June 17, 2012, 03:11:52 PM ---(Extra points if you figure out how long it will be, walk the appropriate distance, and fit the conversation and thought processes accurately into that time.)
--- End quote ---
Holy crap, I hadn't even thought about that. I am profoundly awful at that sort of detail. But it's a good suggestion. Gonna have to consult my world map now.
LizW65:
"By the time she responded, we'd walked almost three blocks and the heavy silence was starting to get to me." Something like that?
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