McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

Deus ex Deus?

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Kali:
I would say it doesn't count as contrived if the knight knows he's being manipulated and is angry about it.  Hanging a lantern on a plot device is a great way to get audience forgiveness.

Starbeam:

--- Quote from: QuicksilverKite on September 10, 2010, 05:59:18 PM ---the knight character is given a mission by an angel... when he questions certain parameters the angel gives him an "instant replay" of everything that hasn't happened yet. so the knight moves in the way he was told he was, feeling more like a pawn than a player. It makes for great internal conflict but externally it feels contrived...

--- End quote ---
What Kali said is a good way to do it.  Plus, depending out how you describe the "instant replay" thing, you could get quite a bit out of that.  Like it shows how what the knight is doing is predetermined, but when he comes to each obstacle, give him multiple choices, but the predetermined choice always being the best of the choices.  Or have the instant replay thingie not show him everything but just bits and pieces, so maybe he knows how he'll choose to do something, but nothing showing what makes him choose.  For that one, two examples come to mind--Wizard's First Rule when a character is told both his friends will turn against him but not the how or why of it, and one of the first season episodes of Torchwood when the characters get flashes of the future but don't know how exactly it'll happen, and when they try, it ends up happening how they saw it.

belial.1980:

--- Quote from: QuicksilverKite on September 10, 2010, 05:59:18 PM ---the knight character is given a mission by an angel... when he questions certain parameters the angel gives him an "instant replay" of everything that hasn't happened yet. so the knight moves in the way he was told he was, feeling more like a pawn than a player. It makes for great internal conflict but externally it feels contrived...

--- End quote ---

Random thought: how does the knight know that the angel isn't the devil in disguise, manipulating the knight into doing something really evil? What better victory than to turn an agent of God into a pawn of the devil. Just thought I'd toss that out there. Moving on to the question at hand. So you feel like the character is being strung along, essentially?

Hmm. Without knowing more about the specifics of your story I suggest you consider putting the knight through several try/fail cycles. So the angel has shown him the path he must follow and the consequences of not succeeding in this mission, correct? Put unexpected roadblocks along the way. And have the knight fail at passing said roadblocks. Have him fail more than he succeeds, and work it so that each failure results in complications that make his overarching goal even harder. But don't let the angel or holy powers bail him out. Force the knight to rely on his abilities, his allies, and his faith to overcome the growing series of tribulations. I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for, but that might lead to more conflict. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

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