McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft

The Elementals The Coming of the Storms

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tonto05:
"So what does that mean?" I asked looking from David to Angela.
"It means that you will either be the death of us all, or our hero." I jumped from surprise at the voice behind me and turned around to find a young boy behind me. He was a ghostly white child. About nine years old and shaved completely bald. He was wearing a brown leather loin cloth and a vest made from the same material. A dainty silver crown was on top of his head. The front of the crown had a lightning bolt made from a deep blue gem. Probably Aquamarine. I know I'm a sucker for useless knowledge, but it was the stone that fit. Legends say that Aquamarine can endow the wearer with foresight, courage, and happiness. It is said to increase intelligence and make one youthful. Although I could not figure out any reason why this little boy would be wearing it. His eyes were the same grey as the man from my dream. He gave me a once over, looked me in the eyes and asked, "So when was the last dream you had about your father?"
"How did you? Wait what do you mean, my father?" I turned to my foster parents, "What is he talking about?!" I asked practically screaming.
The boy cleared his throat and I turned to him. He pointed to a small leather chair that looked completely out of place with its surroundings. His throne maybe? "Take a seat and I will answer any questions you have." I sat down putting myself nearly eye level with the child. "Now ask away and I will answer them to the best of my abilities."
"Who are you?"
"My name is J'aret." He pronounced it like Jared. "I am the ruler of this village. And before you ask, no, I'm not to young. My knowledge of the Storms surpass anyone alive."
"Why is it that nearly everyone I come into contact with here lately has grey eyes?" I asked waving my hand from him to David and Angela."
The king just laughed and pointed to a mirror. A man stepped out from the shadows, a servant supposedly, and took the mirror from the wall. He brought it in front of me. I looked at the king confused and he just motioned to the mirror. I looked at my reflection and saw my surprised face staring back. My eyes had turned a smokey grey color. Almost the color of a dark storm cloud on the horizon. " What happened? Why did my eyes change color?" I couldn't look away from the mirror.
"Your powers have awakened." He looked at me as if that should have been the only answer I needed.
"So I'm some kind of lightning dude that dreams about a father he doesn't remember?" I looked at the faces staring back at me.
"Well if you want a simple watered down version, then yes that's you." J'aret motioned for the servant to hang the mirror back up. After he was finished he melted into the shadows waiting for his masters next call.
"Why am I dreaming about my father? I never knew him.  I don't even know what he looks like."
"That's not entirely true. You know what he looks like from your dreams. As to why he is creeping into your dreams. The only thing we can figure is a reason is the fact that his power is getting weak and he wants to find you before he dies. There can only be one Elemental for each element at any given time."
"Wait. So my father is dying because of me? What about you people? You all have grey eyes. Doesn't that mean your power has awakened too?"
"We all have certain parts of the Element we can control. David and Angela can only control enough to use for protection. I can use my part of the Element to read the coming storms and peoples thoughts. You will be able to control all aspects of the Storms when you are fully trained."
"Why me? Why will I be able to control them all?" I asked, just getting more confused.
"Because your father is the Storm Elemental. That is how he can get into your dreams. Once he dies you will take over his power." Thunder rolled in the distance. J'aret looked toward the west in the direction of the sound and lowered his head. "Something is coming, and he is coming for you." He pointed a finger at me.
"So are we in danger?" Angela asked.
"Johnny is, you all must leave now. His father is coming." J'aret said with a note of panic in his voice. I looked up when he said that.
"Why do I have to leave? I thought my father was looking for me before he dies?"
"He is Johnny, but he is going to kill you, that is why you must leave. If he kills you he will stay alive. Immortal even. That's a benefit of being an Elemental, you can't die without a child to take over the power. So if he kills you he continues to live on as if nothing happened."
"So what do I have to do?" It was hard to take in. My father wants me dead and he doesn't even know me.
"You must run. We will hold him off for as long as we can. David, take him to Persephone. She can train him to block his mind. Johnny you must learn to control your thoughts and block out intruders in your mind. That's how your father will find you. When you have learned that then you can begin the other aspects. After you are totally trained you can face your father." He was pushing me out the door and pulling Angela behind him. "Hurry he will be here in thirty minutes!"
Up ahead I saw a small truck with a big toothless guy driving. David sprinted ahead of us to the drivers window and talked to him before jumping over the side into the bed of the truck. He motioned for us to hurry. The thunder loomed louder above us and I stole a glance to the sky. Dark grey, almost black, clouds were rolling overhead. Behind us lightening streaked from cloud to cloud. Crackling and popping. Suddenly a crash of thunder so loud we had to cover our ears roared across the village and the winds blew a smaller hut over revealing the family huddled inside seeking shelter. We reached the tailgate of the truck and jumped in. David slapped the side twice and the driver took off across the country side. There was an airstrip across the plain and a small private jet was rolling out of the hangar. Behind us the clouds formed a wall moving over the village. Older men all gathered around the king and raised their hands towards the sky. Lightening struck one man and he flew backwards landing in a crumpled heap. The rest of the men had blue energy gathered around their hands and were starting to form a shield above the village. Lightening struck at the blue bubble as it grew bigger. We made it to the airstrip and David picked me up and jumped out of the still rolling pickup. He ran to the plane as the engines were starting. We got inside and he sat me down in a seat and dashed to the cockpit to tell the pilots to take off. As the plane started rolling Angela jumped in and pulled the door shut. Out the window I could see the Storm attacking the small shielded village. On the outside edge of the shield looking towards the airstrip stood a man in a long leather trench coat.

jeno:
Oh, dude, be careful. Don't repost everything you have to a public internet forum - there's a bunch of sticky issues involved, even if you only ever post five chapters.

tonto05:
5 is all I'm posting
I've got what I've wrote so far copywrited so nobody can steal it but I do know to be careful. I'm just wanting opinions on how what I have posted is so far.

svb1972:
Actually re-read the rules for posting on the forum.
You're not allowed to post original ideas on the forum.  Ever.  You are allowed to post links though.

http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/index.php/topic,15778.0.html


--- Quote ---We've had a sudden rash of people posting their original artistic works in this forum. Due to legalities (this is Jim's official board), this is not allowed. If you guys want to start another board (we used to do that) and have folks post stuff there, that's fine! It just can't be here.


--- Quote ---We understand that the type of folks that would come to an author's board are going to be of a creative nature.
However, for everyone's safety, there's a rule about no story ideas.
The reason is simple: If Jim happens to see something he was planning to do on these boards, he can no longer do it, because he can't prove he didn't get the idea from the poster.*
This also extends to story ideas outside of what Jim normally writes, as not only could certain elements be lifted from on genre to another, but after Alera, Jim will be turning to a new series, and we don't know the genre as yet.

Besides, it's dangerous for you, the author, to post your ideas in a public forum where others to could steal them. Remember, more people come in here than posters....


*This does not extend to logical outcomes of situations already published, or no one could discuss the books
--- End quote ---

--- End quote ---

meg_evonne:
ditto everyone else's concerns.  

But on the ease of reading side, I see all that dark space and cringe.  The only way I could read it would be to cut and paste and you really don't want to encourage that!  LOL  If you are going to break the rules and have someone read it, I'd separate your paragraphs at least.

There are threads you can search here in the forum with excellent discussions of author's rights.  C.T.Adams even contributed.  You can't protect your ideas--and with a first draft that is all you really have. A first (through 25th :-) or more) draft is a disastrous thing and so far away from publication standards that any rights you think you have are non-existent.

Caution here.  

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