The Dresden Files > DFRPG
Looking for character feedback
Deadmanwalking:
First, to have extra Consequences your Conviction would need to be Superb. Thos is also just a good idea, so I'd drop an Average skill for it, maybe Presence since you don't need it for social stress.
Second, your sword is made with obsolete rules. See the Enchanted Items Patch thread for how it should be constructed now.
Third, with more Conviction than Discipline, I'd move my Specialty to Control, and for effectiveness put all my Focus Items into the same element (say, +1 each Defensive Control and Power, +1 Offensive Control).
Depending on concept, I might also skip On My Toes for upping Ritual to Thaumaturgy. you'll get more use out of it (including a Biomancy specialty).
Moriden:
Skills
As a veteran of two wars it seems likely that his guns should be higher then his fists. and since hes only a hedge wizard having such a good lore seems a little out of place.
Stunts
--- Quote ---Armed Arts (Fists) [-1]: Shikomizue Scabbard (as Weapons:1 Club) and Shikomizue Sword
--- End quote ---
I understand that having a sword as your primary focus item is "cool" but have you explained why a primarily European person isn't using something more traditional like a staff or wand? you said that he learned most of his magical knowledge from the venatori, who from what little ive read about them seem to be "watchers with flamethrowers" the watchers aren't exactly known for innovation or breaking from tradition. so you may want to consider switching the sword out for a traditional staff[ or not since ultimately its your character and you can do whatever makes sense to you].
Rotes
Folguris (Lightning Attack as Force, Four Shifts): Directs a tight beam of magical lightning (Weapon:4) at a target. Requires his Shikomizue Scabbard to cast.
Did you intentionally choose to have this be one weapon rating lower then it can be? both your conviction and discipline are. +4 Great and you get a plus one to each of them from your specialization and required focus item, so you can have this do weapon rating 5.
--- Quote ---Mirui ab Airae (Air Block, Four Shifts): creates a small wall of air to protect Ted, and functions as either armor or a block. Usually, Ted uses one shift for persistence, so he can do something else in the following exchange without renewing the shield. Requires the shield bracelet.
--- End quote ---
you'll need to clarify how many shifts are being used for each thing and set them in stone for a rote. id suggest 4 block / 2 armor with one shift for duration.
--- Quote ---Strigare (Earth Attack as Force, Three Shifts): Amplifies the gravity around an attacker (like getting hit with a maul), dealing Weapons:3 damage. Requires his Class Ring to Cast
--- End quote ---
Again this is one shift weaker then it needs to be [two if you don't mind backlash] id suggest switching the earth power bonus from your class ring to control, and making this a weapon 4 attack, you'd get an attack roll of 6 with a base weapon rating of 4 that way.
Almost forgot you may want to be careful with biomancy, depending on your gm, there are no safe uses of it, your either transforming another[ illegal] yourself[ dangerous] or trying to heal people[ which is heavily constrained in this setting].
What exactly did you want to do with it?
posting a link to a similar thread created for one of my characters, since id love to get feed back from more then just the one person : /
http://www.jimbutcheronline.com/bb/index.php/topic,17652.0.html
kjpowers:
So, some thoughts...Deadmanwalking and Moriden, thank you both for your comments. You know, I've never understood why Hedge Wizard was meant to imply that the user was somehow sub-par, as opposed to a Hedge Knight that was simply a knight that operated independently. Maybe I'll just change the High Aspect to "Venatori Wizard" or something like that. He's a Warden-level evocation expert, and I believe that someone with the resources of the Venatori can gain have the same kind of Great Lore knowledge as someone of a similar age (early 90s) in the Council.
That said, I decided not to give him Thaumaturgy. Bad call, maybe, but I think it keeps within his aspects. I do agree that his time as a member of the military (Devil's Brigade, 8th Army Rangers, and 10th Special Forces) do merit a higher gun rating. Maybe in 1955 he would have been Great, but in 2010 we'll make do with Good. To compensate, I bumped down endurance to Fair and added the "No Pain, No Gain" stunt. Still -9, but without the biomancy specialization (I changed it to wards. I can do that, right?)
I sort of see Ted as a non-traditional guy, and I like that his foci aren't European standard. He's an open-minded wizard, as evidenced by his not becoming a member of the Council, and I thus imagine his influences coming from different plant. And, yes, swords are cool too :)
Modified my spells (I sort of didn't know what I was doing there - followed previous models) and I think I brought the sword up to the new enchantment standards. Please let me know if the power specializations are right. Again, a case of me not being 100% sure.
Thanks again for everyone's input. Here are the revised stats:
Name: Ted Richardson
Aspects:
High Concept: Special Forces Hedge Wizard
Trouble: Hunter of Shadows, Hunted by Shadows
Other: Martha’s New Deal Apprentice; Devil’s Brigade, Korea, and Real Combat; Venatori Hedge Wizard, You Wouldn’t Believe my Night Job…
Skills
Superb: Conviction
Great: Discipline, Lore,
Good: Athletics, Fists, Guns
Fair: Alertness, Intimidation, Investigation, Endurance,
Average: Contacts, Deceit, Stealth, Rapport, Resources,
Stunts
No Pain, No Gain (Endurance) [-1]: Add two minor physical consequences
Person of Conviction (Conviction) [-1]: Uses conviction to determine Social stress
Armed Arts (Fists) [-1]: (Shikomizue Scabbard and Shikomizue Sword)
Powers
Evocation [–3]
Rituals: Wards [-2]
The Sight [–1]
Soulgaze [+0]
Wizard’s Constitution [+0]
Total: -9 Refresh
Rote Spells:
Folguris (Lightning Attack as Force, Four Shifts): Directs a tight beam of magical lightning (Weapon:5) at a target. Requires his Shikomizue Scabbard to cast.
Mirui ab Airae (Air Block, Four Shifts): creates a small wall of air to protect Ted, and functions as either Armor:2 or a Block:4 . One shift for duration. Requires the shield watch.
Strigare (Earth Attack as Force, Three Shifts): Amplifies the gravity around an attacker (Like getting hit by a maul), dealing Weapons:4 damage.
Specializations:
Evocation: Elements (Earth, Air, Spirit); Power (Air +1), Control (Earth+1)
Focus Items:
Shikomizue Scabbard [+1 Offensive Control with Air]
Shield Bracelet [+1 Defensive Control with Air]
Class Ring [+1 Offensive Control with Earth]
Enchanted Items:
Shikomizue Sword [Weapon:2] (2 enchanted item slots)
- The magical effects of this sword may be used 3 times per session
- The Sword casts a counterspell of Great (+4) strength, provided the effect being countered can be physically attacked or touched by a sword (ethereal chains, good; a mental binding, not so much)
Stress:
Mental: OOOO (+1 Minor Mental Consequence)
Physical: OOO (+2 Minor Physical Consequences)
Social: OOOO (+1 Minor Social Consequence)
Deadmanwalking:
Okay, new version problems:
1. No Pain, No Gain has been errata'ed: It now provides only 1 Consequence. Up to you whether you still want to take it.
2. You now have 2 Specializations in Evocation, that's not allowed without Refinement. My suggestion was that you move the current one from Power to Control, not add another. You can have either Air or Earth, your choice, but I reccomend it be in Control.
3. Focus Items. If you go with my advice on a Control specialty you'll have 5 in both in your element of choice. An item that adds to Defensive Control alone is thus useless (though Offensive control alone is still cool). I reccomend you keep the shield bracelet but upgrade it to +1 each to Defensive Control and Defensive Power, and keep the ring but change it's element to be the same as the bracelet and your specialty.
Now, I can see you wanting to have both elements as options, but to be at full Warden level in Evocation, you're probably going to need to specialize. Unless you take a level of Refinement, anyway.
4. Your Rotes. As is, the first two should be 5 shifts, the third 4 (which they aren't listed as). The second should also be Block 5 (though again it's not listed that way).
If you follow my advice, the first will instead require your ring, and still be 5 shifts, the second will rise to 6 (and provide Block 6 or Armor 3), and the third will remain as-is if it stays an earth evocation, but would rise to 5 shifts if you made it Air based.
Also bear in mind that you recieve a fourth Rote. Perhaps a Maneuver of some kind.
Moriden:
--- Quote ---The second should also be Block 5 (though again it's not listed that way).
--- End quote ---
He put one shift into duration on it.
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