The Dresden Files > DFRPG
I've never played a table-top, pencil and paper RPG...
Abstruse:
If you want to avoid the creepies, follow these guidelines for who NOT to play with:
1) Avoid anyone over the age of 30 who isn't wearing a wedding ring. They probably aren't married because they spend 30 hours a week gaming and prefer to be addressed as "Thorin Goldenbeard the Third" rather than "Frank".
2) Inhale deeply through your nose. If you start to gag, run away. Also, check for obvious stains on clothing.
3) There's going to be two guys there named Jeff. There's ALWAYS two guys named Jeff. Everyone will call one big Jeff and the other little Jeff. One is always cool but not too into the gaming experience, and one is always a freak.
4) Just because people are talking about rape and murder doesn't mean they're evil. Ask them, "Are you guys talking about a hentai?" If the answer's yes, they're not that bad. Also, they may scoff and say, "No, it's the new Takashi Miike film!" This is also acceptable.
5) Avoid the guy who looks like he just walked in from being an extra on The Matrix or a Rob Zombie music video. He probably sacrifices kittens in his basement.
6) See those guys in the corner painting miniatures? They're the Warhammer guys. Stay away from them. Tabletop Gamers : Warhammer guys :: Guy who reads comics : The guy who screams about touching the comics even though they're in five mylar bags and sealed in six inches of carbonite. They're insane, every last one of them.
7) LARPers. There's a good kind of LARPer and a BAD BAD BAD kind of LARPer. Until you have more experience, you'll never be able to tell the difference. A good clue though is if they have a foam sword. Those are typically the good LARPers, but you can't be too sure. Best to avoid them altogether at first.
8) Avoid the guy who speaks Klingon fluently. He always smells funny, even though he does bathe.
Tips to survive your first gaming night (and I mean YOU, not your character):
1) NEVER under any circumstances offer to be the one to call the pizza place. You will ALWAYS get shortchanged by someone, even though you counted it out five times. RPGers spend most of their time crunching numbers for their hobby and they will burn you and not even know they're doing it.
2) Never play any "collectable card game", no matter how much fun people say it is. They're all addicting and you will spend half your gross income on that game for at least three months.
3) If you don't recognize what something is, don't drink it. We gamers have a lot of weird energy drinks, and if you're not used to them, you can actually cause harm to yourself in drinking them. I once drank a yellowjacket, a Bawls, and a Jolt Cola in a 1 hour period and almost went to the hospital from the OD. Stick with coke and mt dew.
4) Don't drink the coffee. See above...it's not coffee like you know it unless you're used to your coffee having the consistency of pudding.
5) Do not under any circumstances question anyone's knowledge on anything remotely geeky. You will have just entered into a Duel of the Geek and unless you're properly prepared, you will be pwnd.
The Abstruse One
Darryl Mott Jr.
Lady Geektastic:
Good to know.
Abstruse:
Oh, and girls (please note the use of the word GIRLS and not WOMEN...big difference) who game come in four varieties:
1) "My boyfriend does this D&D thing and I don't really know much about it, but I like being with him so I play. Ooh, I get a new magic ring?! But I've got fifteen already sweetie!"
2) The biggest prudes you'll find in the world. They're incredibly shy and avoid contact with anyone outside the gaming context, but the second they're in character...they're IN character. They can go from quiet nerdy girl who whispers to sex kitten in half a second flat.
3) Girls that are into anything and everything geeky because they have a goddess complex and they love being worshiped by intelligent young men. They have been with every single guy in the group and drop them the second they get them into bed. These girls usually end up moving into Vampire: The Masquerade LARPs because pseudo-goths have a thing for big girls who show off cleavage.
4) General, well-rounded girls who are just into geeky or nerdy things. These types are ALWAYS and I do mean ALWAYS either involved in a serious relationship or are married. They're actually the worst of the lot because they're the ones most likely to do the whole "I don't want to ruin our friendship" speech.
Most gaming women generally come from groups 1 and 4. Group 3 realizes when they get to college that fratboys will bang anything if they get drunk enough, and group 2 usually ends up coming out of their shell by their early to mid 20s into one of the other three groups before they completely mature.
Also, please keep two things in mind. 1) This is MY opinion based on MY experiences, and 2) I'm exaggerating for humorous effect :p
The Abstruse One
Darryl Mott Jr.
Samldanach:
In response to Abstruse's rules, I have to make some comments.
1) I'll disagree strongly with this one. I happen to know a large number of over-30 gamers who are good people, and not married. In some cases, they are divorced. In most cases, they've just never managed to find a woman they click with (usually because they only want gamer girls, and there are only so many to go around). Also, I happen to know several married gamers who are wastes of flesh (they are generally married to wastes of flesh as well, so it works out for everyone but the inevitable spawn).
2) I'll agree with this one. Though, admittedly, I often have stains on my clothing myself (my wife says I have an uncanny ability to pick the messiest meal on the menu).
3) Obviously exaggerated for effect, but all too frequently true. Though, I've more often run into a pair of Matts than a pair of Jeffs. Same principle.
4) and 6) Personally, I put anime freaks in the category he puts Warhammer freaks into. I don't get anime, and much of it disturbs me as a form of entertainment (q.v. tentacle rape). Warhammer guys are generally okay, as long as you make it clear that you aren't interested in their hobby, and you don't touch their minis without permission. If you ooh and aah over the paint jobs, though, you're generally golden. If you choose to engage a group of them, though, be prepared to be totally left out of any conversation. (This is also true of anime freaks.)
5) Actually, it's more often the case that he is actually afraid of kittens and would faint at the sight of blood. But, he'll talk big to cover up that fact. He may claim ties to covert military or intelligence operations, despite not being in good enough shape to qualify as a volunteer fireman.
7) I'll agree with this one in principle. I have many excellent friends who LARP. However, admittedly, it is quite difficult to tell the difference between the quality people and the asshats. Much like determining the gender of fish.
8 ) In general, avoid anyone who has clearly put more work into their hobby than their schooling. The guy who speaks Klingon probably can't speak Spanish, despite taking it for four years in high school. Similarly, beware people who have more gaming-related clothing (T-shirts, costuming, etc.) than not.
And, do keep in mind that, despite a prevalence of these stereotypes, most gamers are either good people, or shy and harmless. Most of the creeps do a pretty good job of advertising themselves up front. Which, when you think about it, is much better odds than you get when looking for new friends at a bar...
The Doctor:
--- Quote from: Abstruse on January 03, 2007, 07:21:03 PM ---1) Avoid anyone over the age of 30 who isn't wearing a wedding ring. They probably aren't married because they spend 30 hours a week gaming and prefer to be addressed as "Thorin Goldenbeard the Third" rather than "Frank".
--- End quote ---
Some of us have jobs that preclude dating, but taking three hours out to game to relax (so as to not go mad in the NOC) can be done due to the presence of a pager. That said, it sounds like you have had a few bad experiences with the type.
--- Quote from: Abstruse on January 03, 2007, 07:21:03 PM ---3) There's going to be two guys there named Jeff. There's ALWAYS two guys named Jeff. Everyone will call one big Jeff and the other little Jeff. One is always cool but not too into the gaming experience, and one is always a freak.
--- End quote ---
Could that be regional? Back home, it was 'John'.
--- Quote from: Abstruse on January 03, 2007, 07:21:03 PM ---7) LARPers. There's a good kind of LARPer and a BAD BAD BAD kind of LARPer. Until you have more experience, you'll never be able to tell the difference. A good clue though is if they have a foam sword. Those are typically the good LARPers, but you can't be too sure. Best to avoid them altogether at first.
--- End quote ---
If I might make a couple of suggestions...
Listen to them talk during OOC time or downtime. If they talk heatedly about their characters more than they do their day to day lives, news, or other things, then be wary. The LARPers who have interests other than gaming (like computers, politics, martial arts, and the like) tend to be of a well balanced sort and have lives outside of the game. It is the ones who lives are the game that you have to watch out for.
Keep an eye open for two or three games, to get an idea of the people you are gaming with.
Always be wary of an ST who wigs out when the players do not do something "according to the script". That is more than a little creepy...
--- Quote from: Abstruse on January 03, 2007, 07:21:03 PM ---1) NEVER under any circumstances offer to be the one to call the pizza place. You will ALWAYS get shortchanged by someone, even though you counted it out five times. RPGers spend most of their time crunching numbers for their hobby and they will burn you and not even know they're doing it.
--- End quote ---
You might be on to something there.
Also, always bring cash. The last thing you want to do is be the one who only has plastic. That is a major gamer faux pas.
--- Quote from: Abstruse on January 03, 2007, 07:21:03 PM ---4) Don't drink the coffee. See above...it's not coffee like you know it unless you're used to your coffee having the consistency of pudding.
--- End quote ---
If it cannot grab a nearby spoon and try to whack someone with it, then it is not Real Coffee(tm).
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