McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Looking for some input
Persephone:
My quick and dirty opinion would be that it's an excellent introduction. There are rough points as far s formatting goes, such as spacing the dialouge so you know who's speaking, and where time elapses between scenes.
And one really easy fix...
--- Quote ---My head went to throbbing, like my brain was trying to escape from my brain.
--- End quote ---
I'd change the 2nd brain to 'skull' or something similar. So you don't use the same word twice in one sentence. Also I'd love more indepth description of what happens between the two chracters at the end.
It's a fantastic first draft, and what's great is all the basic stuff is THERE. Just edit it a little to smooth out the flow and you've already started something great.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[*] Previous page
Go to full version