McAnally's (The Community Pub) > Author Craft
Okay new game: hooked or not hooked.....
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
Does it have to be an opening ?
Some stories want to open with hooks, and some with nets.
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
From a project that is well back-burnered now; it has an opening frame, and this is the transition to the main story.
"They think they understand it, now, this Secretary of State Linebarger and his bleedin' shadow soldiers. They give me these books to read and take my notes and comments as if it mattered. They think they know where it began and why it came out this way and why the rats are here in the Big Apple after my hide, after so long. And maybe they do. But they weren't there at the beginning, and I was, before anyone knew who Onkel Adolf was, before the Iron Moons and Mosley and the Bomb and everything. To listen to them, you'd think it was that poor mad bastard in Serbia who set the course of the twentieth century, but I was there ten years later when the shot came that really changed history, shivering in the rain on Upper Mount Street in ratty old pants and boots way too big for me, in O'Sullivan's squad that had made a bollocks of things as usual, waiting for word from the Big Fella to tell us what to do next. Seemed so little at the time, just another street fight in a city full of street fighting, but I remember it, oh yes; March 22nd in the year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and twenty-eight, at half-past ten in the morning. I was there the day Jack Kennedy died."
LizW65:
I think Neurovore's fragment works just fine as a story opener and needs no other intro; the alt-history angle is intriguing (though I'm a bit baffled by the second sentence - is it a typo?)
comprex:
--- Quote from: LizW65 on June 25, 2009, 06:06:33 PM ---I think Neurovore's fragment works just fine as a story opener and needs no other intro; the alt-history angle is intriguing
--- End quote ---
A little busy with referents and alt-referents for my taste in an intro (I counted 8-9 maybe 10 attention points, some of which may warrant further tracking for being different, quite a few are probably throwaway distractions). Hook lipped, not set.
the neurovore of Zur-En-Aargh:
--- Quote from: LizW65 on June 25, 2009, 06:06:33 PM ---I think Neurovore's fragment works just fine as a story opener and needs no other intro; the alt-history angle is intriguing (though I'm a bit baffled by the second sentence - is it a typo?)
--- End quote ---
That was a copy/paste error, will fix.
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